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Jacques Martin Hockey School 2012

2011-10-25T19:04:00.000-04:00

A lot has been said in the past couple of days about Jacques Martin, 1999 Coach of the Year in the NHL.

Most will remember Martin from his coaching days with the Ottawa Senators. For nearly a decade, Martin was the image that poor Senators fans (and players) had behind their bench.

Senators fans are a little bit different than Montreal fans, well, a lot different really. Ottawa sports fans are mostly 10 year old children who take off their shirts at every sporting event they go to. Montreal fans speak some sort of strange language that doesn’t make sense to me.

Anyways, none of this is the point I am trying to make.

Most of you probably don’t know that Martin runs a hockey school each summer for kids. While the hockey camp has been great in the past, this year is going to be a little different. The 2012 summer camp curriculum is already causing a stir, as I’ve obtained a top secret copy from a credible source.

Here are some of the things the kids will be learning at this years summer hockey camp:

Two-way communication between the coach and players is over-rated in todays game. You kids are the ones playing the game, I get a big pay check to watch the game from the best seat in the house. You guys can figure out that strategy stuff on the ice. Once in awhile you can expect the coach to shoot you a look, and it’s your job to figure out what it is the coach is trying to say.
Scoring is overrated, sit back and wait for the other team to make a mistake. It’s the polite way to play hockey in the new NHL.
When your team is in a tough situation, and your job is on the line, always make sure to throw your number 2 guy into action in front of 21,000 angry french people.
No matter how good your team is doing, never show any emotion in front of the cameras. If you do this, then when things start to go array people will be too confused to realize your team sucks.
After losing a long time job in a city you love you deserve a break. Hop on a plane and go hang out in the south for a few years with no pressure to succeed. It’s fantastic for your future career endeavours.
Knowing the French language will get you jobs in Canada. Even if the other candidates for your position are way way way more qualified than you. Faites-moi confiance.
And always, always....do your research.

Other Don Cherry Apologies:

2011-10-22T10:05:00.000-04:00

After Don Cherry called out three former NHL tough guys on October 6th he has been taking a lot of flak. In fact, Cherry has been dealing with so much criticism that on October 15th he apologized for what he had said on the air.

We all know Don is an outspoken guy, and a huge idol for people in Canada. He’s tough as nails, and it is not in his nature to be a softy by going back on what he says. He’s a man.

BUT, this apology leads me to believe that Don HAS gone soft on us after all these years!

In the upcoming weeks on Coach’s Corner you can expect a career worth of apologies. Here are some of the best:

“I apologize for providing you with 22 years of Rock Em’ Sock Em’ Hockey DVD’s. I realize the damage that techno music mixed with guys fighting can have upon a child’s mind. Gotta think of all those kids watching out there!, bunch of beauties aren’t they!”

“ I apologize for saying that women shouldn’t come out to hockey games. Of course every woman should be allowed to do as they wish....so long as it is in the 200 section or above. That’s where I always made Rose sit, god bless her soul”.

“ I apologize to every NHL player every drafted in the top 5 overall. Making you come on Coaches Corner each year and answer ridiculous questions is down right embarrassing. I’ve only done it because I’m jealous you’ve done more with your career in your teens than me in the American Hockey League for all those years.”

“ I apologize to all the European hockey players out there that I have offended over the years. Look, the truth is that I have to give some credit to these guys. Wearing a visor is not as bad as wearing a fishbowl, fishbowls are for pukes. Man those Russian hockey players I tellsya they love their fishbowls! Thumbs down, kids!”

“I apologize to all you parents out there. Each week I come on Coach's Corner here and I tell your kid what he should be doing at his next hockey game. By now I’m sure he has: lost his teeth, lost an eye, broke a leg, blocked a shot with the back of his head, knocked a kid out, fought a referee, and thrown his former friends under the bus in front of his peers....”

“I apologize for writing two books about my life, and for that two part CBC movie. Not only did I subject you to some of the worst literature and film in the history of entertainment, I did it twice! God I love that story about the pillow case, beers, and the bus. I’m a genius, you listen to me all you kids out there!”

“I apologize for replacing Blue with a new Blue that looked just like Blue 1. I think I’m on Blue 4 by now, I’m not sure, I lost track in 1998. I’m not very good at the whole responsibility thing. I’m the type of guy who replaces his son’s dead goldfish with a brand new goldfish that looks the exact same as the old one.”

*None of these quotes are from the actual Don Cherry of CBC. Get a sense of humour.*

Top Six Things Arron Asham Was Trying To Tell Us:

2011-10-15T12:30:00.000-04:00

On Thursday night Pittsburgh Penguins forward Arron Asham dropped the gloves with Washington Capitals forward Jay Beagle. This was the result.

After watching that fight it is clear that Asham walked away with the victory. But what was with the celebration after? Was Arron Asham trying to tell us something? I definitely think so.

Here are the top six things that Arron Asham was probably trying to tell us after his fight with Jay Beagle:

1. “Don’t worry guys, that David Steckel guy is in lala land n.....uh-ohhh...”

2. Asham was only trying to call Beagles face SAFE, as it smashed into the frozen ice.

3. Every hockey player needs to have a career after the game. Asham was only practicing his best WWE celebration for when he smashes his opponent over the spine with a folded chair.

4. “Don’t worry fans, Sid is at home safe and sound getting lots of rest for his sore head”

5. After finishing his fight, Asham looked up at scoreboard to see the Rangers and Tigers game highlights being played. Asham disagreed with the first base ump’s call and gestured he was safe...the umpire was definitely snoozing.

6. It’s safe for all the american viewers at home to go to bed now. The rest of the night will only feature the sport of hockey on your television set.

The Playoff Beard ~ Day 16

2010-04-30T17:16:00.001-04:00

After hitting the road to Pittsburgh this past week, I was able to catch up with some of the Canadiens around town. I asked each of them to make a pledge to their team, and to the fans, about the upcoming second round. This is what they had to say:

Scott Gomez: I pledge to play against the Penguins, like I did in Game 7 against the Caps. I won’t turn over the puck a dozen times a game, and I will do my best to earn that huge pay check.

Andrei Kostitsyn: I pledge to not get scared as I carry the puck over the blue line during round 2. Instead of skating in and saying “Oh shit, better get rid of this” I will try to set up a play for once, that doesn’t involve me putting the puck on the net.

Sergei Kostitsyn: I pledge to continue to be placed in and out of the line up at need be, without any complaining or crying to upper management or my agent, like I usually do.

Maxim Lapierre: I pledge to protect this mug at all costs. God, I am beautiful!

Travis Moen: I pledge to watch for flying skate blades. It’s really all I’m concerned about anymore. Did you know that 1 in 10,000 people will die of a facial lacerations this year?

Dominic Moore: I pledge to channel my inner Booby Orr again at least once during this series. I also pledge to continue to sit back and be quiet, until I can do my best Jordan Eberle impression, to make everyone in Montreal love me long time.

Michael Cammalleri: I pledge to twitter more about....wait a minute, you’re that same guy that was in our dressing room during Easter, aren’t you? SECURITY!!!

Marc-Andre Bergeron: I pledge to improve my five on five play in this series against the Pens. What I won’t be improving upon is my one timer. BOOM! Take that Washington!

Hal Gill: I pledge to continue to pretend that Halak is the president of the United States, and I am on a mission to block all bullets coming his way. Trust me, it’s more fun this way. *limps away*

Roman Hamrlik: I pledge to not mess up in anyway this series that may anger “Sal” from Montreal.

Ryan O’Byrne: I pledge to not take any high sticking penalties at the most crucial point of the entire season. Also, I’ll be aiming for the net with the goalie in the black and gold.

PK Subban: I pledge to be the best offensive defenseman in this series against the Pens, while continuing to be low risk, by using my quick speed to get back....daaaawwwwgggg!

Jaroslav Spacek: I pledge to get over this bought of the flu. I’ve been throwing up for days just thinking about having to shut down Ovie, and now CROSBY!!! *throws up*.

Carey Price: I pledge to ride the pine, and drink lots of beer with the ladies in Pittsburgh!

Jaroslav Halak: I pledge nothing, I am the savior.

Oh, and if you're into flirting with the enemy, or just want to get some trash talk out of your system, check out the blog PensBurgh, for your source on all things hockey in Pittsburgh.

Also, if you like MY sense of humour, then maybe check out The Pens Blog too.

Random Thoughts On Teams In Round 2

2010-04-28T23:04:00.001-04:00

San Jose Sharks: After going over hours of video, and completing a considerable number of drills in practice, the San Jose Sharks only have one thing left to do, to properly prepare themselves for the 2nd round of the stanley cup playoffs. Visit this basic instructional website: http://snurl.com/vu1tb

Boston Bruins: God I hate the Bruins. kjfdaskjklajALKSJAjklfasjdfa!!!! Buffalo was in all likelihood, the easiest team you could possibly draw in the first round, and guess who got to play them! If that was not bad enough, CBC nipped us in Montreal by showing them play Buffalo! Who wants to watch the shitty Bruins play the boring Sabres? The only positive that came out of that whole ordeal is that we avoided hockey philosophy 101, taught by none other than Mr. Ron MacLean.

Detroit Red Wings: NO! No no no no! Why won’t this team just die? Hockey fans are sick of you and your well kept beards, and your stanley cups, and your strange player names (Abdelkader, Filppula). Nobody likes the Red Wings anymore! The Red Wings were only cool when Stevey Y played there, now it’s just a “please go away” mentality from hockey fans. I say if the Red Wings can throw octopi on the ice, then I am hereby issuing a challenge to Sharks fans. During the first round #throwthesnake became an instant twitter topic, now for the second round, I want sharks fans to start a #throwtheshark campaign. All I’m asking for is dead sharks on the ice in San Jose, is that really too much to ask for?

Philadelphia Flyers: If the Flyers are capable of making it past the second round, and perhaps take the cup (yeah, right), then they may be immortalized as the ugliest team to ever raise lord stanley. This is all thanks in part to such men as Briere, Carcillo, Cote, Hartnell, Leino, etc. Everyone, shed a tear for puck bunnies in Philly.

Vancouver Canucks: If I counted correctly, there are 16 Canadians, 6 Swedes, 2 Americans, and a Slovakian in a pear tree on the Canucks roster. Of course, Pavol Demitra wouldn’t have ended up in that pear tree, if he had not gone to that kick ass party with Shane O’Brien the night before.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Every time the Pens scored against the Sens in the first round, Gary Bettman’s pants dropped around his ankles. When Crosby scored, whoa look out! When the OT winner went in during game 6, Gary ran around his house in the nude, screaming something about ratings, and NBC, and “swimming in the money”.

Chicago Blackhawks: Lets face it, there is a curse that is shadowing over the Blackhawks post season run. Over the past couple of seasons, if your team is associated with this individual in anyway, then extremely bad things will happen, and a championship is most certainly out of the question. What I’m referring to is clearly the “Madden Curse”.....oh......not the same guy? Well how about Marian Hossa then? Perfect.

I'll be posting more on the Habs before the Friday night game in Pittsburgh.

Until then, keep up with my tweets, and party hard folks, you deserve it.

Buh-bye Ovie!!!

Small Soldiers

2010-04-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

After watching one of my favorite childhood movies last night on YTV, I came to realize the similarities that were present between the "Small Soldiers", and the Habs and Caps in this series.

Instead of babbling on about how "luck needs to be on our side" tonight, I thought it would be cool if I took a step back from the craziness in Montreal today, and examined these important similarities.

The Habs are obviously the Gorgonites, while the Caps are the Commando Elite. The Commando Elite is much stronger, with better weapons, and an overall better battle sense. The Gorgonites are small and weak, but have the heart of champions to pull through in the end. Here is your "Small Soldiers" lineup:

THE GORGONITES/ THE MONTREAL CANADIENS

Archer

The role of Archer will be played by none other than Tomas Plekanec.

Archer has been a great asset to the Gorgonites this past season. Unfortunately, Archer is only ready to do battle when it benefits him, otherwise, Archer is very unmotivated to fight for anything. Archer's is a UFA on July 1st.

Ocula

The role of Ocula will be played by Carey Price.

Ocula is a one eyed creature that is very dull and boring, while lacking a strong sense of motivation and personality. Ocula really doesn't talk much, just kinda mumbles to reporters. His one eye imbeds him from seeing the whole picture, and being a star goalie in the league.

Punch-It

The role of Punch-It will be played by Scott Gomez.

Punch-It could refer to any number of things. Punch-It as in "I'll just cash this huge check for nothing". Or Punch-It as "I'll just call it a game, and turn the puck over several times tonight".

Insaniac

The role of Insaniac will be played by Maxim Lapierre.

Insaniac is a hyper active creature that is surely missing a few marbles in his head. ~~Lapierre~~ Insaniac is often seen running around the ice during a game, and taunting the Commando Elite, while having no intension of actually fighting. If a fight does break out, Insaniac will do his best to protect himself in a turtle postion.

Slamfist

The role of Slamfist will be played by Ryan O'Byrne.

Slamfist brings a big body presence to the Gorgonites squad which is very useful in battle. However, his intellectual slowness often leads to trouble for the Goronites to deal with. Example: Scoring on his own team.

Freakenstein

The role of Freakenstein will be played by Travis Moen.

Freakenstein's eye was dismembered by an opposing squad. That's all you need folks...

THE COMMANDO ELITE/ WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Chip Hazard

The role of Chip Hazard will be played by Alex Ovechkin.

Chip is the leader of the Commando Elite. He maintains many great battle skills that serve him well in the line of duty. Without Chip, the Elite is nothing but a bunch of young saps. Also, Chip likes to torment young children by spraying stuff in their face before a battle.

Link Static

The role of Link Static will be played by the defensive squad.

The defensive squad of the Caps is composed of all North American players that can actually speak good english, after that, communications get kind of messy.

Brick Bazooka

The role of Brick Bazooka will be played by Bruce Boudreau.

Do I really need to explain the similarities here? Also, Brock Lesnar.

Kip Killigan

The role of Kip Killigan will be played by Jose Theodore.

Kip Killigan really enjoys his cigarette's, so do french people, so close enough right? Nobody liked Kip anyway.

Butch Meathook

The Caps really don't have a "Butch Meathook" on their team. Why not you may ask? Because they're racist! The closest thing to a "Butch Meathook" in Washington is Barack Obama.

The Gorgonites however have added some diversity, will the addition of P.K. Subban to the line-up for game 6 tonight.

Nick Nitro

The role of Nick Nitro will be played by Mike Green.

Nick Nitro really likes to let the dynamite blow from the blue line. He also sports a beauty mohawk which makes him look tough, and fashionable. The biggest disappointment of Nick Nitro's life was being left off of the Commando Elite Olympic squad, for being too good and too cool.

This Is One True Blue, Angry Habs Fan!

2010-04-23T09:38:00.002-04:00

The Playoff Beard ~ Day 8

2010-04-22T19:06:00.000-04:00

It's official, my playoff beard has lasted longer than last year. This also means that I'm getting dirtier by the day. Since we're down 3-1 in the series, I'm sure i'll be busting out a razor soon, but knowing my luck, the habs will force a game 7 and then decide to lose, rendering the extension of my playoff beard useless and embarrassing.

Since the nail is almost in the coffin for us in Montreal, it will soon be time to look to other teams to support for the remainder of the spring. Here are the reasons why you should support OTHER teams in the event the Habs are beat out on Friday night.

FLYERS: Habs fans will be easily able to connect to the idea of having a number of star players injured for key games.

DEVILS: Habs fans will be easily able to connect to the notion of having overpaid players who can not produce.

SENS: Habs fans will be easily able to connect to the notion of arguing over who should be in net, when really the problem is a lack of offensive punch up front.

PENS: A much better, overall skilled hockey team. Habs fans can not relate to this.

BLACKHAWKS: Patrick Kane's playoff mullet will bring back memories of the glory days for many people of Montreal.

PREDATORS: Really? They still have hockey in Nashville?

AVALANCHE: Habs fans will have a chance to see what it's like to select a young star high in the draft, and then actually have him produce results for the team, rather than riding the pine down the stretch.

SHARKS: Russian hockey fans living in Montreal will have a great connection to the playoff abilities of the Sharks.

BRUINS: Never, never cheer for the Bruins, ever!

KINGS: Wayne Simmonds = The P.K. Subban of the Kings. Nothing to do with colour though.

CANUCKS: Habs fans will be able to connect to having two ugly twins on the same team.

RED WINGS: Blahhh, the NHL has seen enough of the Red Wings. NEXT!

COYOTES: With a name like Keith Yandle, you can't go wrong.

SABRES: A great goalie with some upcoming defensive stars, once again, can not relate to this.

The Playoff Beard ~ Day 4

2010-04-18T14:13:00.001-04:00

10 Things I am glad about after last night:

...I'm glad we were able to hold together a 4-1 lead
...I'm glad Halak didn't slip when the going got rough
...I'm glad the refs were fair and equal with their calls
...I'm glad Ovechkin was a non-factor
...I'm glad the NHL got rid of goalie interference for the playoffs
...I'm glad Kostitsyn is the first Hab to get a playoff hat trick in a losing cause
...I'm glad Backstrom's injury is really effecting his ability to produce
...I'm glad we didn't get peppered with shots again
...I'm glad that Cammalleri is a better lumberjack than a hockey player
...I'm glad the series is now 1-1, because it's more fair than stealing two games on the road

The Playoff Beard ~ Day 2

2010-04-16T11:43:00.000-04:00

I can feel the stubble growing back in this morning, and after last night, that may be something to worry about, due to the dirtiness of my Sid The Kid esque beard.

Fellow Habs fans, it is official, our playoff beards will last longer than last year! (At least one game longer anyways). Along with that, last night was the first time that Montreal has won a playoff game since 2008, so bravo! It only took two years, and a major restructuring of the team to get it done!!!

Back in 2008, my playoff beard consisted of "peach fuzz", and me wearing a Carey Price T-shirt, oh how the world changes! (IE, Jaro's 45 save performance last night, and Carey doing this).

Before we all get too antsy with regards to this series, lets remember that I did predict that the habs would win at least one game, so lets hope that all the magic was not used up last night. In regards to magic, can you imagine if we won game 2 on Saturday night? Think about it. Yeeeeaaahhhh Now I've got you've thinking... I think we all need to make a trip to the hardware store and buy some BROOMS!!! Just kidding, but seriously....

Other than the first period horror fest, we played a really good game last night, and a lot of the players really stepped it up a notch once they got settled into the game. Obviously going to OT is a little scary, but hey whatever, we got the W right?

There were also a few questionable calls, and non-calls, against the Canadiens last night, so hopefully that shit will be straighten out before game 2!

Ovie didn't show last night, and I'm really beginning to think that he would do well playing along side Joe Thornton in San Jose.

Finally, we can all sit back, enjoy Pleks working blamo of a shot, and relive the magical moment from last night. Eat it Theo! :

The Playoff Beard ~ Day 1

2010-04-15T13:15:00.001-04:00

Game day has finally arrived, and there is not much left to do, except nestle in with a big box of tissue and hard liquor, and take in tonight's action.

If it is any condolence however, all of the underdogs did win their games last night, so some people must have cashed in pretty big off of their stupidity.

Tonight the Habs odd's are ridiculous, like football odds, or a regular season Oilers game.

I hoped on the Habs tonight betting, along with the Bruins and the Canucks to get er done. Of course, every match up tonight is going to be about the goaltending battles.

Game time tonight is 7 PM on TSN. I still can't figure out why the CBC is not carrying this series! This only makes it harder for me to get access to the game, and if I get stuck watching the Sabres and Bruins, there will be an angry hand written letter full of choice words waiting for the CBC.

Also, it's DAY ONE of the 2010 playoff beard! Last year, our beards only lasted SEVEN days habs fans, and if Halak plays good, maybe TEN this year.

If you have decided to grow anything else out for the playoffs, let me know in the comments (we need all the luck we can get against the caps)!

Here are some Youtube videos to get you, and your freshly shaven faces, pumped up for tonight's game:

Google Search: The Habs Drive For 25

2010-04-14T22:32:00.002-04:00

Playoff Bracket

2010-04-12T14:49:00.000-04:00

EASTERN CONFERENCE 1st Round

Capitals vs. Canadiens = Capitals in 5 games
Devils vs. Flyers = Devils in 6 games
Sabres vs. Bruins = Bruins in 7 games
Penguins vs. Senators = Penguins in 6 games

WESTERN CONFERENCE 1st Round

Sharks vs. Avalanche = Sharks in 6 games
Blackhawks vs. Predators = Blackhawks in 5 games
Canucks vs. Kings = Canucks in 7 games
Coyotes vs. Red Wings = Red Wings in 6 games

EASTERN CONFERENCE 2nd Round

Capitals vs. Bruins = Capitals in 5 games
Devils vs. Penguins = Penguins in 6 games

WESTERN CONFERENCE 2nd Round

Sharks vs. Red Wings = Red Wings in 7 games
Blackhawks vs. Canucks = Blackhawks in 5 games

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL

Capitals vs. Penguins = Capitals in 7 games

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL

Blackhawks vs. Red Wings = Blackhawks in 6 games

STANLEY CUP CHAMPION

Blackhawks vs. Capitals = ???

It's A Canadiens Easter

2010-04-03T13:00:00.000-04:00

I was thinking to myself the other day, "I wonder how professional ice hockey players celebrate the easter season".

My curiosity hit a peak, and I just had to find out how my favorite Habs were celebrating easter in 2010!

After a long battle with security, I finally made my way into the premises of the Bell Centre, to get some answers. Before I could interview the entire team, I was being dragged out of the dressing room kicking and screaming.

Though I only got to interview a handful of players, it was still helpful and insightful to hear how some of them plan to spend Easter. Here are the ways in which a few Canadiens will be celebrating Easter this year:

Michael Cammalleri- "...I actually don't believe in any of that Jesus shit....who are you?... SECURITY!"

Scott Gomez- "...I go down to the local wal-mart, and buy all the candy with the money I'm stealing from the Habs there. Yeah, everything is coming up Scotty! Maybe I'll try to score one tonight just for old times sake."

Brian Gionta- "...the boys kinda say I look like the easter bunny actually. I'll be getting a nice "C" on my jerz after easter for the playoffs, so I guess i'll just get drunk and celebrate that"

Maxim Lapierre- "...actually my mom died on Easter, so it's kinda a tough time for me.....JUST KIDDING!!!!.....God, I'm a beautiful human being aren't I ! Look at this mug......look at it......hey where are you going?!?!?"

Ben Maxwell- "...yayayya EASTER!!!! I hope the Easter bunny can find me here in Montreal!! One time I met the Easter bunny, it was awesome!......the tooth fairy is a sham though, everyone knows that."

Glen Metropolit- "...just takin' it easy I guess. Hey, do you think the Easter bunny could use his magic to give me a new shoulder?"

Travis Moen- "...keeping my face together."

Jaroslav Halak- "...I am Jesus. People worship me now."

Carey Price- "...Gonna sit around in my boxers, eating a Mr. Solid, and watching some "How to be a better goalie" DVD's.

Andrei Markov- "...Easter who?"

Saturday Hockey Memories ~ The 2003 Stanley Cup Final

2010-03-27T16:27:00.001-04:00

For me, and many, Saturday has always been a special day of the week. No matter where you are, or what you may be doing, Saturday night is always great (unless it's July-September, your wife leaves you, or your fridge contains no beer, then it just sucks).

Saturday has created many hockey memories for me, both good and bad. I think it would be pretty cool if each Saturday I went back in time, and relived a past hockey memory. If you don't think that's cool, then just scroll to the bottom of this post, click five stars, and go on with your day. Thank you, american readers.

In the inaugural edition of Saturday Hockey Memories I'm going to flash back to my greatest memory of the team we are playing tonight, the New Jersey Devils, and their Stanley Cup Victory in the spring of '03, that essentially ruined my childhood.

To get the facts out of the way, I was cheering for the Mighty Ducks Of Anaheim in this series. My younger brother was a Mighty Ducks fan at the time, so I thought, heck, why not support this Disney team.

I make it clear "at the time", because since 2003, my brother has switched loyalties pretty much every NHL season. He's been an Avs fan, a Sens fan, a Preds fan, a Blues fan, and he's landed with the the title of Canucks fan, for now... And he will be furious once he reads this post.

I remember celebrating like crazy when the Mighty Ducks beat out the Wild in the West final. I was only 12, so the excitement was at an intense peak. Ask my father, who was trying to sleep above the living room tv. Bad bedroom location.

I was in grade 8 in '03, when this memorable series took place, and on a school trip in Quebec City. The thing I remember most about this series, was a bunch of us heading to the "cool teachers"room, that had a television in it to be able to watch the games. Thank god for young teachers who break the rules, and don't give a fuck!

The following is essentially a break down of my original hate of the New Jersey Devils. Enjoy!

Game 1: Tuesday Night. Marty shuts the door, and the Devils win 3-0 over the Mighty Ducks. Who cares, game 1 isn't THAT important anyway. We'll get em' next time!

DEVILS LEAD 1-0

Game 2: Thursday night. Marty shuts the door, and the Devils win 3-0 over the Mighty Ducks. Hmm, well that's strange, I recall a similar score two nights before. At this point I was beginning to get a little bit worried. Being in the heart of Quebec City eased my pain.

DEVILS LEAD 2-0

Game 3: Saturday night. The Mighty Ducks win the game in Overtime 3-2, and I have returned home from Quebec City to relish the victory with my brother. The biggest moment of the game was not the overtime winner by Salei, but the mistake that Marty made with his stick. When you make mistakes like this, you know you're not going to win the game.

DEVILS LEAD 2-1

Game 4: Monday night. The Mighty Ducks are starting to look like the Montreal Canadiens of 1993 (kinda, not really...), as they pull off another overtime win, and I go absolutely nuts because this series is tied baby!

SERIES TIED 2-2

Game 5: Thursday night. The whole pace of this game was changed when Jay Pandolfo "DID NOT" kick the puck into the net. You be the judge. That goal was heart breaking for the Mighty Ducks, and they lost their spirt after that goal along with me. The Devils ended up winning the game 6-3! This is probably the game in which my hatred for the New Jersey Devils originated as a kid. After that win, it was personal, and all or nothing on Saturday night!

DEVILS LEAD 3-2

Game 6: Saturday night. The stanley cup is in the building, and it's do or die for the Mighty Ducks. This game provided me the most memorable night of the series, as Scott Stevens KO'D Paul Kariya into the next world! Watch the hit here. What is astonishing, is that Kariya not only came back, he scored a goal, and the Mighty Ducks won the game, and tied the series! I was so excited after this win, my loyalty to the Habs was being called into question.

SERIES TIED 3-3

Game 7: Monday night. The Devils returned to their opening fashion of the series, and won the game 3-0. I was in complete shock, and hate of the New Jersey Devils. How could the Mighty Ducks not complete the perfect Disney story! I was ruined and a mess! My childhood ended on that night, and much disappointment followed in the hockey world. The Canadian squad lost the World Junior championship the following year, and the Habs were swept out by the Lightning the following season. Then the lockout occurred.

My hatred for the Devils still runs through my blood to this day. What a horrible hockey memory the spring of '03 was.

Lets make sure the Devils don't clinch that playoff spot at our hands tonight.

Go Habs Go!

10 Things I Learned From Attending My First NHL Practice

2010-03-26T17:36:00.003-04:00

Today I had the opportunity of attending an NHL practice (well sorta, it was the Florida Panthers). I thought I understood the in's and out's of the game, but apparently, I was wrong, very very wrong. There are many things that go on behind the scenes, that we the people don't know about. Here are just ten of the many things I learned at practice today:

While walking past the psychical therapy room, NEVER LOOK IN. I made the mistake this afternoon, and my eyes have been tarnished forever. What did I see? Naked Florida Panther players all greased up, and getting a full body rub down from the trainers! The horror!
How do Panther players earn that huge pay check at an optional practice you might ask? Well, from my keen observation skills, i'd say through playing arcade shooting video games in the lobby of the rink. Get em' boys!
Be careful where you place your stick. Coach DeBoer got a little pissed off at the way one Panther was participating, and smashed his stick in half, and threw it across the ice! Uh, I'll take that stick home, if know one wants it?
It takes two Panther goalies to stop a puck, sorta. While practicing the "mad scramble" in front of the net, both Vokoun and Clemmensen stood in the net, to try and stop the puck. The puck still went in.
Don't underestimate the swagger of Bryan "the sex machine" McCabe. This man's goatee and hair is even more beautiful in real life. When McCabe was ready to leave, the teamed followed. All hail Jesus McCabe!
NHL players care about others. When leaving the rink, Bryon Bitz held a door open for me. While his intensions were good, I was a little upset. Just because I don't play in the NHL doesn't mean I can't open the door for myself, god!
Don't mention the name of public enemy number one. Say the name "Spacek" today, and you'll feel like Milhouse when Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney are around.
NHL players don't stick up for their team. As I was leaving, some fans got an autograph from an unidentified Panthers player. As I was walking behind them I said to my buddy "WHOA! They have real life fans!?!??". There is no way the unidentified Panther player didn't hear me. Though we didn't get a reaction, we bet it was something like this.
Players enjoy listening to Nick Kypros, on hockeycentral at noon. I found this unusual, since I had always assumed that nobody liked listening to Nick Kypros.
Low security means anything is fair game. Next practice I attend, I'll be brining ma skates!

*Now you can rate the posts that I make, by clicking on the stars below. Remember, comments are always welcome, but giving me five stars is like having sex with Megan Fox*

Other Headlines The Gazette Didn't Use

2010-03-25T18:27:00.000-04:00

After last night's "Price Blows It" headline that sparked a twitter controversy, I had to head deep into the bowels of the Gazette news room to uncover other possible headlines. Here's what I found:

Sabres Say "Fuck It", Show Up For 2 Minutes Of The Third, Gain 2 More Points In The East
Ryan Miller Gives The Habs Two Freebies, Habs Answer Back By Giving The Sabres Two Freebies, And Then Raise There Two Freebies With Two More Freebies In The Standings
Price Makes 40 Saves, But Halak Would Have Made 42
AK 46 Scores Twice As The Ha...Wait Really?!?!
Habs Drive Past Golf Course On The Way To The Rink, Say "That Looks Like More Fun"

All joking aside though, has anyone else seen Travis Moens face today after getting 50 stitches? Yikes!

This guy's done everything in life. He scored the stanley cup winning goal in 07. He's appeared on a popular canadian television show. Hes played for multiple teams in the national hockey league. And most importantly, he's had his face sewn back together like a bad grandma sweater on christmas day.

Lets go Panther hunting?

Sunday Youtube Video Theatre

2010-03-21T14:22:00.001-04:00

What game last night? There was no game last night!

But seriously, whatever, we still have a 95% chance of making the playoffs, and how about you Leafs fans? That's right.

Here's a collection of must-see Youtube videos from the past couple of days to get your mind off last night. All from the world of hockey of course!

Chris Holt (goalie) of the the Binghamton Senators scores a goal on March 19th. We could have used a scoring touch from Halak last night.

Wicked long fight between Cam Janssen and Pierre-Luc Letourneau- Leblond that Don Cherry was in love with this week on Coaches Corner.

This is part one of OTR with Darren McCarty and Claude Lemieux, talking about "the hit" and the aftermath. Click on through to youtube for the next couple of parts, this interview is worth your time!

Vokoun lets in a goal from center ice! All I can think about when I watch this is Toskala!

Huge glove tap to "HockeyHaven76" for all the uploads this year! Here's last night's Coach's Corner for those of you who may have missed it:

What if Bobby didn't fly?

And finally, what if Mario wasn't so super?

Sens tomorrow night. Let's light it up boys!

Happy 50th Carbo

2010-03-18T16:49:00.002-04:00

<---Guy Carbonneau, wheelin' le cup!

A tap of the pads to 25 Stanley for this sweet pic of Carbo with the Cup! It was today in 1960 that Guy was born, let us rejoice.

His hockey commentary for CBC, and coaching skills are/were questionable, but he was a pretty consistant player for the Canadiens. If you're only aware of Guy the coach, you have some research to do. If you're only aware of Guy as the annoying french guy from CBC, you're either an infant, or a ~~recent NHL fan~~ Penguins fan. {Link}

It was also on this date in history, that Lord Stanley first got the idea of donating a championship cup to the NHL, so the pic is a two birds with one stone kinda deal. You can read more about the origins of the Stanley Cup here: {Link} If you're not into the history of the Stanley Cup, you could always just look at hot chicks with the Stanley Cup here: {Link}

On a totally unrelated note, I was on some random site this morning in class, that projects that the Habs have a 93% chance of making the playoffs! Break out champagne, we've got some police cars to burn in Montreal (pending a playoff victory this year).

Also, I heard there might be some shenanigans going down tonight in Boston. In preparation for probably nothing happening, here is a video of what tonight's game in Boston MAY end up looking like. I hope Crosby brought his morphing stone along, he might need it tonight.

The Original Angry Habs Fans

2010-03-17T20:58:00.002-04:00

As many of you may or may not be aware of, March 17th is a time for all "Angry Habs Fans" to go down memory lane, back to the Richard Riot.

There are a couple of events that inspired my internet nickname. The first was the riots after beating Boston in the 08 playoffs, and that riot has been a staple mark of my twitter background (until today). The second inspiration for my internet name came from the Richard Riot.

You can read all about the Richard Riot and it's aftermath by visiting this {Link}

This is such an important moment not only in Canadiens history, but for Quebec nationalism as well. The following is a four part video series on Youtube that explains the Richard Riot fairly well. Enjoy, and happy St. Patricks Day!

I'll Have The Double McStandard

2010-03-15T17:20:00.001-04:00

This is what a FOUR game suspension looks like:

This is what a TWO game suspension looks like:

Someone needs to explain to me the difference between these two reckless plays, because I don't see it. Both players threw their opponent into the boards, when they did not have the puck. Both players did it from behind. And finally, both players were reckless with their actions and showed no respect for their opposing player.

There are only two differences that I can spot. The first difference is that one player is french (don't call me out on this one, the NHL has a long history with french players). The second difference, is that one is an NHL superstar.

If I go out onto the street, and then slam someone from behind into a brick wall causing injury, I expect the same punishment as any other citzen. If I copy someone's essay or test, I expect to get the same mark that they did. If I go out and rob a bank, I expect the same precedent law to apply to me as it did to the original bank robber. Why is their no precedent law when it comes to NHL suspensions?

We've argued this topic over and over again, and I'm sick of it! It's not like the NHL even had to look back very far to find a precedent! Lapierre only did this a few weeks ago!

It's time for the NHL to pull up it's socks and hire someone with 20/20 vision to hand out suspensions. This is getting ridiculous!

UPDATE, more evidence of why the NHL sucks at precedents:

Pro~Line Saturday

2010-03-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Since I was 13 I've been playing Pro~Line most of the Saturday's of my life (thanks for the help mom), until recently when I learned about the world of online gambling. This Saturday I decided to return to the root of my gambling problem, and buy a Pro~Line ticket. These were my sexy selections:

San Jose Sharks- Sharks vs. Panthers. I mean come on, not only do the Panthers suck, but did you also know that Panthers can't swim? Great reason to like the Sharks in this one.

Toronto Maple Leafs- Picking the Leafs over the Oilers is kinda like betting on the special Olympics.

Montreal Canadiens- I dare you guys to break my heart tonight. It's a four point game against Boston in what the media is dubbing a "must win" game for both teams. If we lose, well, the sky is falling.

New Jersey Devils- The Devils have been slumping a bit lately, but these aren't your dad's Islanders. Oh, I'm a sucker for a vintage Stanley cup celebration! Click here too!

Carolina Hurricanes- This team is super hot! So are the Coyotes, but the Hurricanes have been sizzling at home all season long....and that's just the ice girls.

Vancouver Canucks- Roberto > Elliott. The Sedin sisters help too.

10 Things You Didn't Know About Tampa Fans

2010-03-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

In order to beat the enemy, you've got to know the enemy, or something like that. Here are the top ten things you probably didn't know about fans in the sunshine state:

10. Lets start with the kids and their questionable fan club {link}. Thunderbug's favorite song is I'm Too Sexy, and his favorite food is a Subway sandwich? You know what, this actually gives kids the RIGHT message as young Lightning fans. If a product is allowing you to be successful, then why not support it! I.E. Bandwagon 04!

9. We all know that Tampa has always struggled in the goal-tending department. In a post game scrum a Tampa fan was asked "How much does it bother you that no matter what, goalies on this team just can't seem to stop the puck". The fan responded with the answer "Oh, is that what the guy with the pads is for"?

8. Have you ever noticed how the lighting in St. Pete Times Forum is worse than Carey Price on a breakaway? You're not alone. The owner of the Lightning made a statement that "If fans actually started watching hockey, then they might not like the sport. We try to keep the lighting to a minimum, to keep the fans guessing and pre-occupied with other things, such as the score of the football and baseball games on the jumbo tron".

7. Speaking of owners of the Lightning, is there a bigger fan than Oren Koules? Oren as you may or may not be aware of, is responsible for the SAW movie series. His movie experience has really helped him out with the team as well, he's done a fantastic job of butchering the franchise!

6. Tampa fans aren't alone as being the worst NHL fans. In fact, the NHL set up an entire division for fans who just like hoping on a bandwagon every now and then. Teams include: The Ovie Wagon, The Hurricanes '06 wagon, and who can forget the lovable '96 wagon that produced not only Panthers fans, but Colorado fans alike.

5. I don't condone bandwagon jumping, but this is one bandwagon I would probably hop on. {Link}

4. During the '04 playoffs, there appeared to be a surge of Lightning fans taking over the National Hockey League. What most people did not realize, is that all these Lightning fans were just disguised Oilers fans from Alberta, looking for a reason to get drunk and hate on the Flames one last time before the lockout.

3. The man. The myth. The Legend. ...and that's just his hair: {Link}. Many people became Tampa fans just because of this beautiful flow! Hockey just isn't hockey without a greasy mullet!

2. You've probably been able to pick out the theme of this post by now, but if not, I think this picture sums up EVERY Tampa Bay Lightning fan EVER! {Link}. Saying's like "I'm a Stamkos fan" or "I like Hedman" are grossly uncalled for, and unacceptable. It's more like "I really liked it when they won the Stanley Cup in '04, but now they suck....hmm, you know who's really impressing me nowadays? The Penguins".

1. They are polite and awesome. Watch as they sit back, and shut up, as they let the REAL hockey fans enjoy cheering on their favorite team:

Live Blog: Oscars, With A Sprinkle Of Koivu

2010-03-07T15:47:00.002-05:00

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=2935f2e8e8" &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Academy Awards/ Habs @ Ducks&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

Top Ten Moments Of The 2010 Trade Deadline

2010-03-03T21:09:00.000-05:00

10. Pierre McGurie's "Effin Creepy" sega continues with Dutchy in another edition of "CLOSE TALK". Who else is glad that he wasn't able to ruin Chris Cuthbert's "Golden Goal" call on Sunday?

9. The "Calgary Maple Leafs". What is Sutter thinking by acquiring these guys? Good luck getting the red and white out of your uniform, Vesa.

8. Pierre Gauthier was up so late night last night shopping D'Agostini, that he over slept the 3PM trade call and forget to trade Carey. Once Carey found out he was still a Canadien, he immediately ran to the dressing room to clean up the spray painted "Markov Likes Cock" that he left all over the walls.

7. Tomas Kaberle cock-teases Leaf fans everywhere, and is staying in Toronto for a little while longer. Being a big fish in a small pond is nice sometimes I suppose. It's a shame that small pond is infested with a new type of E-Coli called "LastPlaceosis".

6. Jay Onrait's live blog during TSNs 10 hours of tradecentre coverage. 10 hours?!?! They really need to let it go over there at TSN. Did anyone else notice that every time they went to break a trade, Gord Miller sounded like he was about to announce the end of the world?

5. The trade deadline was at 3PM. The last trade came through at 8.07PM. 5 hours later?!?! That's slower than Fredric Bilodeau!

4. 31 trades + 55 players + 25 draft picks = the busiest trade deadline day in memory. Also, the lamest trade deadline day in history. Oh wait, I forgot, Wojtek Wolski is an NHL superstar.

3. The term "Future Considerations". Nothing says "You Suck" more than trading your own player without any idea of what you're getting in return for him, your just glad he's outta town. How's the walker treating ya Schneider?

2. Take a drink when James Duthie refers to more trades coming in like water under a sink. "More trades will POUR IN after 3PM". "Don't forget, we expect more trades to TRICKLE IN after 3PM". What he's really getting at, is that after sitting in a chair for 6 hours he'd like TSN to undo the chains around his ankles and let him go to the bathroom!

1. The Washington Capitals. The Caps added Scott Walker, Eric Belanger, Milan Jurcina, and Joe Corvo. Too bad they couldn't have acquired a solid golaie, because they'll need one to get past Sid The Kid in the playoffs.

Trade To The East

2010-02-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

In the wake of the recent Leafs recent "Blockbuster" deal, here are the pros and cons of being a member of each team in the Eastern Conference.

New Jersey Devils:
Pro: No matter how shitty of a team is put together, you'll always make the playoffs.
Con: If you'e a goalie, you might better just retire.

New York Islanders:
Pro: You get to play with some great and talented up and coming stars!
Con: It's not the 80's anymore, nobody gives a shit about the Islanders.

New York Rangers:
Pro: Sean Avery can hook you up with some fashion model babes in the big apple!
Con: John Tortorella

Philadelphia Flyers:
Pro: If you ever get into a tough situation, you can count on your brah Emery's to have your back.
Con: The Media (isn't that right Mike?)

Pittsburgh Penguins:
Pro: You get to play for the champs, and have a long playoff run each year.
Con: Having to look at Crosby's playoff beard each playoff run.

Boston Bruins:
Pro: They're a gross team, no pros whatsoever.
Con: Everything. Especially Lucic.

Buffalo Sabres:
Pro: Lots of snow to play in during the season. (Buffalo sucks).
Con: Having to wear those ugly uniforms

Montreal Canadiens:
Pro: Getting to be a member of the most historic team in hockey!
Con: The expectations that come with being a member of the most historic team in hockey!

Ottawa Senators:
Pro: Ottawa Fans are too polite to really care if you're losing.
Con: All fans are 10 year old kids who know nothing about hockey.

Toronto Maple Leafs:
Pro: ?
Con: Being a Toronto Maple Leaf

Atlanta Thrashers:
Pro: Nobody cares about hockey, no pressure.
Con: No hot chicks in Atlanta care about hockey players.

Carolina Hurricanes:
Pro: The Fans try REALLY hard to be as good as Canadian hockey fans
Con: Hillbilly tailgate parties.

Florida Panthers:
Pro: Enjoy the sunny skies and warm weather on a beach after practice.
Con: Are you kidding me? Making millions to lie on a beach all day and then play hockey at night? Count me in!

Tampa Bay Lightning:
Pro: Getting to play with great players, who really aren't all that great when you think about it.
Con: The BOLTS jersey.

Washington Capitals:
Pro: You get to play for the best team in the East!
Con: Smiling and nodding at what everyone says, because everyone sucks at english on the team.

Sunday Morning Hot Or Not Realizations

2010-01-24T10:24:00.002-05:00

This feature is beginning to turn into the ONLY feature that I post here. I really need to get my shit together (like the teams in this weeks Cooler).

Inferno Teams:

Washington Capitals- The hottest team in the league! 9 wins in their last 10, AND they're on a 6 game winning streak. The win over Crosby on Thursday night was huge for the team.

Philadelphia Flyers- My, Oh, My. These boys have been on this list for weeks in the hot section and it's finally paying off. The Flyers are on a 3 game winning streak and have the 6th spot in the East.

New York Islanders- They made the list last week, and they're back again this week. A minor slip up against the Devils yesterday is okay. If they keep playing like they have been they might end up bumping the Canadiens out come April.

San Jose Sharks- The second hottest team in the league right now. Will this team ever be omitted from this list?

Colorado Avalanche- On a five game winning streak, leading their division. Who would have knew...

Vancouver Canucks- Canucks fans have a lot to smile about as the their team is red hot of late!

Anaheim Ducks- Wait, what? The Ducks are on a roll! They've won 8 of their last 10 actually, and who knows, is it not to late for this team to get back into the playoff hunt?

Cooler Teams:

Boston Bruins- Fuck yeah! Their season is beginning to go to complete shit and we Habs fans love to see it!

Toronto Maple Leafs- Isn't it funny that the two teams in the East that are struggle the most are rivals of the Habs? Just try to enjoy it fellow habs fans.

Calgary Flames- Ouch! On a five game losing streak and barely holding onto eighth place in the West.

Edmonton Oilers- The coldest team in hockey....is once again still the coldest team in hockey this week.

Great Cause

2010-01-18T18:34:00.003-05:00

They may be Leafs fans, but still, there's more to life than hockey. Please read this:

The recent events in Hati have caused a media explosion. As we all know, just short of a week ago the country of Hati was more or less destroyed by an earthquake. Since then, the world has come together to help Hati in the relief effort. Tonight, the hockey blogosphere will begin their effort.

Tonight Pension Plan Puppets will be donating $0.06 for every comment on their blog. Down Goes Brown will be matching this donation for the first 10,000 comments. PLEASE, go to their blog and comment during the Leafs vs. Preds game tonight to help!

If you want, you can also text "HATI" to the number 90999, to make a $10 donation to the relief effort. $10 will be added to your phone bill.

Captain Cormier At It Again

2010-01-18T11:06:00.003-05:00

The hit isn't until the halfway point of the video, and there is no audio, so don't adjust your speakers.

It's pretty disgusting to watch, especially the aftermath. So if you're freaked out by young men convulsing on the ice, then you may to skip this video:

So what do you think? What is the proper punishment for that kind of a hit?

My verdict is that you won't be seeing Cormier playing hockey until next season.

UPDATE: Cormier has been suspended indefinitely by the Q.

Sunday Morning Hot Or Not Realizations

2010-01-17T17:19:00.011-05:00

Okay, so I know my new years resolution failed after about a week, but doesn't everyones?

Once again here are the Hot N' Cold teams of the National Hockey League (and by golly I bet we'll never see the Habs make this feature):

The Hottest of the Hot:

Buffalo Sabres: They're hot, but when it comes to extra time after a long night of ripping it up, they could use some makeup.

New York Islanders: Wait..whaaaa??? Johnny T and the boys are on a 3 game bender, tied at 50 points with the Habs with a game in hand! Scary stuff.

Philadelphia Flyers: Still a point out of a playoff spot, but they've been playing great, and have a ton of games in hand on everyone else around them.

Chicago Blackhawks: Big shootout win this afternoon against the Red Wings. The Blackhawks are young and sexy all around! For a comparison, lets just refer to them as the Megan Fox of hockey.

Oh yes, I love the Blackhawks!

San Jose Sharks: They'll make the list every week. They're players will be picked in weekly pools all the time. Is this FINALLY the team that brings the cup back to the beaches? Let's hope not, my god.

Nashville Predators: They lit it up this week, and are on a 3 game winning streak! Slowly climbing the rankings in the West. Can't wait for their first round exit.

The Coldest Of The Cold

Atlanta Thrashers: Bash on them allyou want, but they are only 1 point behind the Habs in the standings. Now that is scary!

Toronto Maple Leafs: There is no greater pleasure in the world, then including this team on my list each week. I actually got to watch their game on Friday night against the Caps on TSN. Wow.

Columbus Blue Jackets: What a nightmare for them. They're on a three game losing streak right now and they're season is toast.

Edmonton Oilers: If the Blackhawks are the Megan Fox of the NHL, then there is only one person that can describe how the Edmonton Oilers look.

Larry King, sex symbol of Edmonton

Sunday Morning Hot Or Not Realizations

2010-01-10T12:36:00.002-05:00

The Hottest Teams In The NHL:

New Jersey Devils (8 wins in their last 10)
Buffalo Sabres (7 Wins in their last 10)
Philadelphia Flyers (7 Wins in their last 10)
Chicago Blackhawks (8 wins in their last 10)
San Jose Sharks (8 wins in their last 10)
Vancouver Canucks (7 wins in their last 10)

The Coldest Teams In The NHL:

Pittsburgh Penguins (3 wins in their last 10)
Atlanta Thrashers (1 win in their last 10)
Toronto Maple Leafs (2 wins in their last 10)
St. Louis Blues (3 wins in their last 10)
Columbus Blue Jackets (3 wins in their last 10)
Edmonton Oilers (1 win in their last 10)

FIND ME AN AMERICAN!!!

2010-01-06T10:31:00.003-05:00

Today is a day to feel sorrow if you're a Canadian. You all know why, no need to explain. All we want to do today as Canadians is to find an ignorant American (very easy) and bash his fucking skull in! Mind you, the American probably didn't even watch the game to begin with.

I'm gonna spend today watching movies, and eating ice cream from the carton, to easy my pain after last night. Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!!

I have no words for you guys today, it was a rough night...

...but my buddy does on his blog.

Check it out by clicking here to brighten your day, if it can be brighten.

ARRRRRGGHHHH!

Canada vs. USA

2010-01-05T12:03:00.003-05:00

I have never watched a game between these two rivals that I wasn't up and down in my seat. EVERY game, no matter at what level, these two countries always end up having an intense battle. Tonight should be no different, and add to a long line of classic games between these two countries.

I'm not going to lie, after that performance against the Americans on New Years Eve, I'm very nervous going into tonight's game.

Canada is favoured going into the game tonight, but I think a lot of that has been determined by success in previous tournaments, rather than focusing on Canada's play in this tournament. What is key for Canada tonight is to stay out of the penalty box! If we end up taking as many penalties as we did against the Swiss then we are fucked! This game is going to be so tight, physical, fast, and heart stopping for the fans.

After this game tonight I hope I end up leaving my buddy's house proudly wearing my Team Canada Jersey, rather than having it crumpled up in my hands.

Obviously tonight does mean nearly as much as the Olympics will in Vancouver next month, but still, tonight is another important chapter that will be written in Canadian hockey history.

If Canada can do these FIVE things tonight, than I guarantee a sixth straight championship:

Stay out of the penalty box! No more than one penalty per period for Canada tonight.
Get the power play working again!
Limit the Americans speed with good angling and hard hit's along the boards.
2 men back on the power play! We saw all the 2-on-1's on New Years Eve and this can be solved by a more traditional PP.
Jake Allen stands on his head for Canada!

If you have any other suggestions or thoughts about the game tonight I would love to hear them in the comment section below.

I'm so fucking pumped!!! ARE YOU READY!!!! CANADA VS. USA, TONIGHT!!!

GO CANADA!!!!

Golden

2010-01-04T22:21:00.002-05:00

The pic says it all. I'll have SOME Capitals pre-game coverage tomorrow, but as you can imagine, there are more important games to be played.

Canada vs. USA coverage ALL day tomorrow (mostly just the afternoon) to get you stoked for the game (not that you'll need any help to get pumped up for this one).

Let's all hit the hay for one last time, before we find out if the quest for six can be completed!

Eh! Oh!.....just kidding, that cheer is uber gay. Go Canada Go!

There's No Grand Slams In Hockey

2010-01-04T13:54:00.002-05:00

The Winter Classic may do more good than bad for the sport of hockey in the United States, but it's giving Americans the wrong idea about the sport.

It's unfortunate that headline's on January second read something like "Home Run At Fenway" for example. This isn't baseball, and we should not have to use baseball terminology to attract American fans to our game.

Sure, I understand that this game was played in a ball park, but let's not go crazy with the idea. I read a story this morning that compared the HITS Pronger had to the HITS some former Red Sox player had in one game at Fenway. Who cares!!! This is hockey, not baseball. Americans might be dumb, but they're not gonna be fooled into watching hockey, game in and game out just because we compare it to their national past time. What happens once the game returns indoors, and away from the ball park? The similarities to baseball are lost and so to is the audience.

There are other terminology issues present in the sport of hockey such as the DRESSING ROOM, not the LOCKER ROOM, but that isn't important today. Today, and in the future, I hope that more feasible tactics are used in drawing in an American audience.

The ratings are declining each year for the Winter Classic with a 2.6 rating this year down from 2.9. I don't know what can be done to improve this, but I do see a need to focus more attention on the sport of hockey itself, rather than trying to sell the sport as something it's not.

So stop talking about Marco Sturm's WALK OFF game winning goal, because by doing so, you are not only empowering the sport of the baseball, but also diminishing the sport of hockey and the purpose of the Winter Classic altogether.

On The Road Again

2010-01-03T21:51:00.003-05:00

I was on the road (tracks) today travelling back to my Uni, to officially start the second half of my degree.

I was on the road during the Habs 1-0 loss to Buffalo today, and unfortunately had to miss the game. How was it ladies and gentlemen? With class on Tuesday's until 10PM this semester it's gonna be hard to catch any of those games. I just want to get out of this place, ASAP!

When I got back and got my sports update I found out that Kovy not only had a hat trick for the Sens today, he scored FOUR goals. Nice of him to actually step up once in awhile, eh Sens fans?

I did catch Canada's 6-1 Semi-Final win over Switzerland, however. If Canada could have avoided taking a few penalties, the game would have been more of a blow out then it already was. I have full confidence that on Tuesday night Canada will be ready to face the U.S.A. (as I'm writing this the U.S. is leading Sweden 1-0). Don't worry, I'll be missing class for that game.

I Don't Speak French But...

2010-01-02T15:38:00.002-05:00

...I'd be missing the point if I was actually listening to what she was saying. Do I dare say this is my new favourite youtube channel?

You decide...

The Winter Classic

2010-01-02T14:34:00.002-05:00

What a real outdoor rink looks like, NHL.

More coming on the winter classic later today....or maybe not?

Oilers Owe Some Cash

2010-01-02T11:41:00.004-05:00

If you thought Patrick Kane was bad when it came to paying the tab you need to take a look at the Edmonton Oilers. They went to some high class restaurant, drank fancy alcohol, and got so smashed that they got the mind set "We don't need to pay, were the fucking Edmonton Oilers".

$18,000 of booze later, the dude that owns the place is a little upset that he hasn't seen his money. I guess times are tough for the Oilers both on and off the ice.

My Verdict: I'm sure this will be all settled and paid in the coming days, making this another boring story. Some advice for the Oilers, next time pay as you drink. Can't handle the puck, can't handle your drinks.

My thoughts on the Winter Classic later today...

NHL Promo For The Winter Classic

2010-01-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

Enjoy the game everybody!

New Year's Resolution

2010-01-01T09:21:00.002-05:00

My online resolution for 2010 is to become a more consistent blogger. That means taking the time at least once a day to sit down and write about what's on my mind in the hockey world. Maybe if I get really ambitious a podcast to.

The resolutions start today with the Winter Classic taking off at 1 PM ET, from Boston. You can expect my full thoughts on the game later tonight. Will this years classic be able to live up to the one with Crosby scoring the shootout winner? I doubt it, but who knows, anything can happen.

Until then I'm about to go and have a Winter Classic of my own on my backyard rink in the snow. Should be a great time.

Happy New Year's Folks and enjoy your annual hangovers.

HOLY FUCK!

2009-12-31T23:11:00.003-05:00

It doesn't take to much to get me angry, but tonight was different. I haven't been this fired up in a long time!

That game that I just witnessed is on my list of greatest hockey games ever! Last year's new year's eve game still takes the number one spot, but tonight was defiantly up there. What. A. Fucking. Masterpiece of a comeback!

I'm still shaking. I can't compose myself or put into words the pride I feel right now to be Canadian. I need a drink. What a night!

Goodbye 2009 and 00's decade! Wow!

New Years Eve Predictions

2009-12-31T16:01:00.004-05:00

Too many great games tonight. Here's how I think it will go down:

Habs @ Panthers: Habs Win 3-1.

Islanders @ Sens: Sens Win 5-1

Preds @ BJ's: Preds Win 2-1

Sharks @ Coyotes: Sharks Win 4-1

Av's @ Red Wings: Red Wings Win 3-2

Canucks @ Blues: Canucks Win 6-2

Kings @ Wild: Kings Win 4-2

Ducks @ Stars: Stars Win 2-0

Rangers @ Carolina: Rangers Win 4-3

~~New Jersey @ Blackhawks:Devils Win 3-1~~

Oilers @ Flames: Flames Win 4-2

WJHC

Russia vs. Czec Republic: Russia Wins 6-1

USA vs. Canada: Canada Wins 5-3

Enjoy the amazing night of hockey folks, and party hard!

Happy New Year's Eve!

Some Great Vid's For You On New Year's Eve

2009-12-31T13:42:00.003-05:00

Dion With Some Drunken Karokee

Top Ten Canada Vs. USA Moments

The 2007 Shootout That Lasted An Afternoon

52 Year Drought, OVER!

The Best Hockey Game I've Ever Witnessed

Vintage Canadian Ad.

A Quick Look At Team Canada

2009-12-30T22:16:00.005-05:00

Martin Brodeur- The old man of this team, WILL show why he is one of greatest of all time in net for Canada in Vancouver.

Marc-Andre Fleury- He's won the cup, pending a Brodeur meltdown this kid has shown that he can perform under pressure. (Minus the 2004 World Juniors).

Roberto Luongo- Home ice advantage will likely be the reason we get to see Roberto in net for at least one game in Vancouver against a weaker team.

Dan Boyle- Here's I guy I pick week in, and week out in my hockey pool. Sick player.

Drew Doughty- Amazing all round defensemen for his age and has certainly earned his spot

Duncan Keith- Last year I had this guy picked in my pool week in, and week out. A rising star in the NHL and maybe soon a Cup champion with the way the Blackhawks are tearing up the league.

Scott Niedermayer- Leadership and nothing more.

Chris Pronger- HUGE mistake taking Pronger. He's a douche who takes wayyy to many penalties and plays dirty. Enjoy killing off all those penalties he'll be taking Canada. This is the only guy I'd say should NOT be on Team Canada.

Brent Seabrook- Pair him up with Blackhawk team mate Keith and we have ourselves one great defensive pairing in the works along with the SJ line.

Shea Weber- Big shot, great player, but I would have taken a guy like Dion over him. (And yes, I'm aware Dion is over rated).

Patrice Bergeron- Haven't seen him play enough to pass judgement, but from the way Stevey Y was talking, this guy will be huge for Canada! Try not to get hurt between now and February Patrice.

Sidney Crosby- Need I say more? The face of the NHL himself. Absolutely can not wait to see this guy wearing the red and white again.

Ryan Getzlaf- I knew he'd be on the team but I just have a funny feeing about him.

Dany Heatley- Scores goals galore, won't back check or break a sweat.

Jarome Iginla- Classiest guy around. Should be wearing the C for Canada?

Patrick Marleau- Having a hugeeee season but can he step up when the pressure is on?

Brenden Morrow- Still don't understand this pick. Anyone?

Rick Nash- Wish I had the chance to see this guy play more other then when he's playing the Habs or for Canada.

Corey Perry- Great great great player. Can't say enough about Perry. He's gonna be huge for Canada.

Michael Richards- Lucky to be there after this season's start. He'll probably be riding the pine as an extra.

Eric Staal- Gotta have this guy on your team. He's got no where to go but up on this roster. He needs to battle to earn his ice time at this tourney.

Joe Thornton- Lets see how bad of choke this will be...

Johnathan Toews- Well, if we ever get stuck in a shootout against the Americans you know who we'll be calling on.

National Hockey

2009-12-27T21:41:00.003-05:00

Without RDS at home over the holiday's, it's hard to maintain any feeling of affiliation with our boys in Bleu Blanc Et Rogue, especially with so many other distractions.

I watched the Leafs game last night, obviously, but that was the first Habs game I've had a chance to watch since mid December, other than Markov's comeback on the Island last Saturday night.

Maybe I don't speak for all fans of hockey, but for me the holiday season is a time to forget about my under achieving favourite NHL team and focus on some national hockey, and feel a sense of pride for a couple of weeks.

It feels good to cheer for a team that is not only a favourite, but can beat a team 16-0! The odd's for Canada against Latvia were 1.01-1. In other words, a $1000 bet would give a pay day of $10, not even enough to cover the price of the beer you drank during the game.

Tomorrow both of our national hockey teams play other teams from Switzerland. I haven't met many people from Switzerland, but the one girl I do know that is from Switzerland, could be the most retarded girl I've ever encountered in my life.(this chick still takes the gold) I don't know how good the Swiss team is in the Spengler Cup, but I have a feeling that the World Junior team is gonna suck pretty hard. Let's say Canada wins about 8-1 tomorrow. Can't wait to see the odd's for that game. I'm guessing somewhere around 1.03-1 for Canada. Should be another shitshow.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-24T18:39:00.001-05:00

Have a Merry Christmas fellow angry habs fans!

See you on the other side of the best 3 days of the year, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, & Boxing day! Enjoy the time.

My Thoughts On The East....Thus Far

2009-12-16T18:23:00.002-05:00

Washington Capitals- Not a playoff team (or so they say) but this team has proved that even without Alex the Great, that they are indeed still a sick team!
Pittsburgh Penguins- Don't worry, Sid isn't to far behind. Encore season perhaps?
Buffalo Sabres- Really pulling together as a team this year. And by pulling together as a team, I mean Ryan Miller has showed up each and every night. I can see them in East Final this year, or is that to bold?
New Jersey Devils- I still don't understand why this team is soooo good? Could some explain to me where the talent comes from other than Marty. I see this team slipping off very soon.
Boston Bruins- Despite some key injuries the Bruins seem to be doing very well this year without "Baller" Phil.
Atlanta Thrashers- Like the Nashville Predators, they won't be in this spot forever. Reality is gonna hit hard soon.
Ottawa Senators- The lose of Jason Spezza might just put this team back to their "regular" form.
Montreal Canadiens- All I've gotta say is that if it comes down to us and the Leafs battling for that last playoff spot in the East, then our team has failed.
Florida Panthers- Have been playing some good hockey of late, but this team still has some improving to do before becoming a playoff team. In the future, try relocating.
Philadelphia Flyers- Enjoy not having a playoff spot Jaro, this team blows.
New York Rangers- Great start to the season, this team is due to bounce back.
Toronto Maple Leafs- Playing very well of late, but overall still a disgrace of a hockey club with very grotesque players.
New York Islanders- I like this team and I have a feeling that have enough talent to finish just missing the playoffs.
Tampa Bay Lightning- Players went on vacation.
Carolina Hurricanes- The definition of a nightmare.

My Thoughts On The West....Thus Far

2009-12-14T13:35:00.005-05:00

Los Angeles Kings- Doughty is playing amazing, Kopitar is arguably one of the best players in the NHL this season, and that is why the Kings are leading the west. Wait, whaaaaat?!?!
Colorado Avalanche- Another basement dweller team that is somehow pulling off an amazing start to the season. How long will it last though once the team realizes Joe is gone for good.
Chicago Blackhawks- It was only a matter of time before this team blossomed into a division leader. Next goal: have the the top line be able to grow facial hair.
San Jose Sharks- Looking like an amazing team as always. With the addition of Heatley this team has potential to not choke so hard this year.
Calgary Flames- Who cares? They'll be out first round of the playoffs anyway.
Phoenix Coyotes- Maybe "The Great One" was the problem after all behind the bench. Phoenix is sitting in a playoff spot with a fairly decent start to the season. *A tumble weed gently blows through the stands*
Nashville Predators- Give it a few more months and this team will be out of their playoff spot.
Dallas Stars- Improving, but not quite reaching their potential yet. (Like this blog).
Detroit Red Wings- Don't worry Red Wings fans. Your team WILL make the playoffs this year, and probably have the usual success even though they are missing key players. San Jose sends them packing in the second round.
Vancouver Canucks- Meh, I can see them playing better during the second half and clinging to a spot in the West. Roberto will have a good rest watching the Olympics from the bench.
Edmonton Oilers- I think Pat Quinn is making things worse....
Columbus Blue Jackets- After a little tease to start the season, this team has turned into complete garbage.
Minnesota Wild- Saku would have had a better chance of winning the cup with the Wild then with the Ducks.
St. Louis Blues- A good couple of week in Europe really did not help this club when they came back to North America.
Anaheim Ducks- They've turned into last years Dallas Stars.

Why I'm Not Going To The Game Tonight In Ottawa

2009-12-08T13:24:00.002-05:00

I'm currently situated in Ottawa, at least for another 9 days. There is know reason as why I should not be attending tonight's game at Scotiabank Place. My first exam isn't until Friday night and I'm not that big on studying anyway, you either know your shit or you fail, simple.

Here are some lame ass excuses as why I won't be traveling to the rink tonight:

- Oc Transpo buses are like going on a 6 hour road trip in a mini-van with your family + everyone's drunk.

- The last time I was at Scotia-Bank Place they made such a big deal about me drinking my beer that I don't think I'll ever buy another beer at a hockey game again. Drinking should ALWAYS be allowed in the family fun zone.

- I'd die of laughter when Kovy jumped onto the wrong bench after a shift and whispered to the boys "Get me outta here".

- The only ticket I can afford at the moment is standing room, because I spent all my December budget on buying Christmas gifts for friends and family who are Senators fans.

- Plain and simple, don't wanna stand in the cold all night waiting for a bus after a Habs lose.

- To many french people at the game that assume just because I'm wearing a Habs jersey that I speak french. I'm from Ontario mothafucka!

- More fans will be concerned about getting Carey Underwood's autograph rather than Carey Price.

Philly Cream Cheese

2009-12-07T13:52:00.003-05:00

Besides giving the world a beautiful dipping choice when it comes to leisure snacks, what else is Philly good for?

Here are your things to know before watching tonight's game against the Flyers:

- With both Jeff Carter and Maxim Lapierre on the ice tonight, one can assume there will be many moist ladies in the stands of the Bell Centre.

- ...though one look at Scott Hartnell's hair should calm them down.

- Chris Pronger refuses to play the game when he begins skating around the ice and can't see any other players. Upon return to the bench Pronger is told to look down......no waaaaayyyy down.

- On his way to the Bell Centre, Ray Emery gets lost in the Montreal traffic. After attempting to be a man about it, Emery decides to ask for directions. When he arrives at his destination, it appears to be a basketball court.

- Angry Habs Fans is taking nominations for the worst player name in the NHL starting now through the rest of season. The first candidate is actually at the Bell Centre tonight: Blair Betts.

- Many Habs fans will get confused as they watch this game as whether or not that's the Flyers on the ice, or some sort of all time Canadian World Junior team.

- Hunting season may be over for some, but damn those jersey's the Flyers wear would make great deer hunting attire!

Buffalo

2009-12-03T11:49:00.003-05:00

Things you need to know for your viewing pleasure tonight:

- Lets just say I don't think you're going to be seeing the Habs listed as the "favorite" anytime soon. (Currently 2.75-1).

- If you see any liquid coming from under Miller's mask tonight it's not sweat, it's tears. Ryan Miller is emo. Who agrees?

- Tyler Myers will make our forwards look like munchkins, oh wait, they are!

-After seeing the name "ROY" on the back of Derek's jersey, Habs fans will reminiscence on the days where it was nice to have a consistent goalie, then begin weeping as Carey lets in goal number 5.

- Habs fan will say to each other "HA, look it's Craig Rivet! Remember how shitty he wa... *can't hear the rest of what your buddy was saying as Rivet pots the winner on Price*"

- Habs players more focused on protecting their assholes from Paul Gaustad then protecting the puck. Just take a look

Chips Joins Koivu In Anaheim

2009-12-02T12:45:00.006-05:00

The Kyle Chipchura trade was a good one for Montreal, all other arguments are invalid. That is of course unless he goes to Anaheim and starts playing like a first round draft pick.

In 2004 Kyle looked tasty to the Canadiens, but when we opened that bag of Lays we found that inside was a bunch of under done green chips. Since you can't take a bag of bad chips back to the store, Bob did the best thing he could, tossed them out into the sexy beaches of Anaheim California.

Still think it was bad deal? Kyle hasn't done anything this year....ANYTHING! 19 games with the club and no points to show for it. Now you're saying to yourself, okay Angry Habs Fan but it's not like he's getting quality ice time. You're right good sir, he isn't, but did you know he has a minus 10 rating? Maybe it was better when we kept him off the ice.

68 games in the show and Chips has 14 pts to show for it. That's why you're gone buddy, that's why you're gone.

Texts From Last Night

2009-12-02T10:19:00.004-05:00

My buddy and I aren't living in the same city anymore. He's a Leafs fan, I'm considering a new team. While we can't watch the games together anymore we can still txt each other while the game is going on. Here are some texts I got from him last night:

7:59 PM: SCORESSSSS OOOORRRRRR

8:48 PM: Are you still watching this?

8:50 PM: Leafs 3, Habs Suck

8:51 PM: Just raping Montreal!

9:53 PM: lol I miss the singing at the Bell Centre says the announcer.

10:00PM: OLE OLE OLE, SHUTOUT!

....and finally a Facebook post that says:

"Twas a very quiet building in Montreal last night.....OLE OLE OLE OLE....OLE OLE OLE"

I think you get the point, I've been hanging out with the wrong crowd.

100th Anniversary Week Begins

2009-12-01T12:18:00.004-05:00

Leafs tonight, we've favored, we win the shootout....need I say more?

Kaaaayyy I'm actually skipping class right now, but tonight I have a class that I can't skip because we get our exam review. The class starts at 6.05, and game time is 7.30 tonight. We are also having a potluck dinner, since the class is full of mid aged ladies and that's the sort of thing that mid aged ladies like to do around the holidays. Fucking sucks!

Hopefully they stuff there food down fast and I can get the outta there before 9.00PM. If not I'm going to snap. On top of that I have an essay due in the morning that I'm still not done but any work on that will have to wait until after the game. Priorities are key.

November

2009-11-30T14:44:00.002-05:00

Looks like I missed over an ENTIRE month of blogging. It doesn't matter though, because the Habs haven't moved ANYWHERE in the North-East Division all month long. We are stuck in 4th and I don't see us getting out anytime soon.

As far as conference standings go, I'm afraid to look.

17 games in 31 days is coming up for the Habs in December. If you look at the schedule we'll be lucky if we can come away with another .500 month, though a lot of our success is going to rest upon the shoulder of The Impregnatetor.

Enemy Territory

2009-10-24T17:41:00.003-04:00

I'll be in Scotiabank place tonight for Mark Recchi's 1500th career NHL game. I'll be keeping an eye on the out of town score board however, gotta win tonight! GO HABS GO! Enjoy another Super Saturday Habs fans!

A Song For Sergei

2009-10-21T21:49:00.003-04:00

Photo Snapped By The Media As Sergei Left Bob Gainey's Office This Evening

...who all of a sudden thinks he's Dany Heatley.

The Mask

2009-10-21T14:51:00.014-04:00

Guys, the goalie mask debate has sparked up on TSN.ca this afternoon and looking at pictures of cool goalie masks is something I love to do. With Halloween in the air I've gotta decide what goalie I want to be this year! I thought I could burn sometime in between research for a paper I'm writing to post some of my favorite goalie masks past and present!

I'll start off with some Habs flavor and Roy's old golaie mask that he wore when he was with the Habs. It's pretty basic, but it's a mask that can't be mistaken for any other!

Sticking with Habs flavor who can forget Liberal MP Ken Dryden's mask. Growing up I had a mask that I wore similar to this for road hockey games. Great memories.
You can't have a list of your favorite goalie masks without including Gerry Cheevers! He added a new stitch to the mask every time he got hit in the face with a puck. It's a shame he played for such an awful team though...
Gilles Gratton most certainly gets the award for creepiest goalie mask of all time.This little mask is the one Felix Potvin wore for the Toronto Maple Leafs in 90's. I'm disgusted to admit that somewhere I have this old little statue of the Felix Potvin mask from MacDonald's.
Growing up in Ontario as a kid I didn't have access to a lot of Habs games on Saturday night in the years before we had satellite tv. So on Saturday night I usually ended up watching Cujo and the Leafs and this mask remains as one of my favorites.
If someone were to make me choose my favorite mask in the NHL present day that award would go to back-up goalie Steve Valiquette of the New York Rangers. The whole Spider-Man thing sucked me in for sure! Plus, Spider-Man is the best superhero of all time hands down...

Mike Richter's mask with the New York Rangers brings back memories of Sunday afternoon hockey at MSG from my childhood.Dominik Hasek is who I pretended to be when playing goalie on the backyard rink as a kid. His mask is a combination of a players helmet + side burn protection + a cage to protect not only his face but beautiful ears as well. I got to see this mask in person during his time with the Senators and man is it every a weird contraption.
Finally I'll end with the mask of John Vanbiesbrouck. Sometimes the most simple designs are the best one's.

I'm sure you all have your own Top Ten List of your favorite goalie masks. These are certainly not the greatest masks of all time, but somehow each of them had an impact on my idea of what a good goalie mask should contain. Let me know in the comments what are your favorite masks of all time!!!

What Is This Magical Feeling?

2009-10-21T10:58:00.005-04:00

Dreams do come true...

Dude that was a longggg losing streak, lets never go down that road again. I think alot of us gamblers are going to need a nice little winning streak to replenish some funds. That winning streak starts Thursday as Johnny T rolls into town for an ass kicking of epic proportions. Here's how it will go: the Islanders will jump out to an early 1-0 lead. Habbys tie it. 2-1 Islanders. Then in dramatic fashion HAL GILL will score to tie it at 2 in the final 5 minutes of the thrid period. Then, we take Johnny T into OT and hand his ass a 4th overtime loss on the season. The only reason the Islanders have 3 pts in the standings is because they've survived a few games and made it to OT. PATHETIC! When we make it to OT we finish the opponent (basically the only way we've been able to win all year).

If you haven't had a chance to look at the standings after last night, we are now TIED with the Bruins in the east. We're moving up in the world (seriously, how long can the Sens and Sabres lead the division?).

On another topic: Is it just me or does Colby Armstrong have something for charging Habs players coming out from behind the net? First we have this and then last night we had this. Only this time we didn't have Sheldon to drop the gloves after, and a pussy brawl ensued.

QUESTION OF THE DAY:
With back-to-back games against teams from the Big Apple, do you think the Habs can turn the Rangers and the Islanders into applesauce? Vote on the right, comment below!

Your Youtube video of the day has nothing to do with hockey, but rather, the Ballon Boy saga and possibly the worst fight ever seen:

Kovy Came Back....Bitch!

2009-10-17T17:54:00.003-04:00

Mr. I'mtogoodtogive100%everynight is back in town!!! Yayayaya. I'm sure there will be a tribute video put on by the Bell Centre for this occasion. If I know the CBC well enough, I'm sure they'll have some sort of montage before the game with really gay music as well. I wish I could bet on that sort of stuff happening. 5-1...anyone?

Why do I wish I could bet on that sort of stuff? Well, if you haven't noticed the Habs aren't exactly making people any money these days (unless you betting against them every night....then you're rich!) So my gambling funds are getting a little low.

Remember that goal Kovy scored on us in the preseason where it looked like he wasn't even trying against Price? Ya, can you say FIVE game losing streak?

Here are your Saturday Night Picks:

Buffalo
Rangers
Habs
Canes
Sharks
Caps
Red Wings
BJ's
Pens
Blackhawks
Coyotes
Canucks
Ducks

Truculence or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Leafs.

2009-10-14T16:21:00.003-04:00

As Montreal fans we all share common likes and dislikes. We love our history, where we've come from and the glory days (basically three ways of saying "Remember when we were a good team?"). Our dislikes include the Boston Bruins, the Toronto Maple Leafs, and any other team that has a tendency to beat us.

What would happen though if all of sudden I proposed the idea to you that we should all love the Toronto Maple Leafs? The comment section would be in an out roar and people would be calling me a phony Habs fan of course. There is a way however that you can remain a Habs fans and yet still be in love with the Toronto Maple Leafs! It involves a formula that I have been working on in a secret lab over the past month with my sewer rat of a suite mate(Haven't been able to shoot a photo of this mysterious creature yet). It involves quantum hockey physics and a difficult mathematical equation that even important math people would have never thought of (too lazy to look up names of math people).

We have the Toronto Maple Leafs which in the equation will be recognized as "TML".
We have general manager Brian Burke which in the equation will be recognized as "BB"
We have the concept of Truculence, which in the equation will be recognized as "Y"
We have the concept of gambling on sporting events which in the equation will be recognized as "$$$"
Finally, we have former Hab Mike Komisarek which in the equation will be recognized as "MK"

So (everyone remember BEDMASS from high school?):

TML+(BB x (MK x Y-)=$$$

So first we take Mike Komisarek and times it by Truculence which will give us the number of fights he will win this year. We come out with the number zero.

Next we take Brian Burke and multiply it by how effective the Truculence is...which is zero.

Finally we take the Toronto Maple Leafs and add it to our number. So the Toronto Maple Leafs + the success under under Brian Burke, Mike Komisarek, and Truculence will give us the answer of zero. ZERO WINS THIS SEASON.

In turn, we take this statistic to the bank!

And that is How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Leafs.

In Regards To Wednesday Nights Post...

2009-10-09T22:36:00.004-04:00

5. I SAID : The Vancouver Canucks couldn't score a goal on an empty net

ACTUALLY: They scored many goals with more than just one goalie in the net

4. I SAID: Luongo sucks balls.

ACTUALLY: Luongo looked like an all-star again

3. I SAID: The Canucks never win when my brother bets on them.

ACTUALLY: He cashed his ticket

2. I SAID: The Sedin Sisters are gay.

ACTUALLY: The Sedins got tons of points between them.

1. I SAID: My video game predicted a Habs win.

ACTUALLY: That video game was from 2008...

And people wonder why I'm angry...

Top Five Reasons Why We Win Tonight

2009-10-07T19:41:00.003-04:00

5. The Vancouver Canucks would be lucky to score 5 goals on us all game if we pulled the goalie and played with the extra attacker. This team can't score! Here's is what the Vancouver Canucks look like in the offensive zone: LINK

4. Luongo sucks. Sure this guy is arguably one of the best goaltenders in the NHL. But if he is starting goalie at the Olympics we Canadians have as good a chance at winning as fucking Kazakhstan. The contract is getting to his head this year so far along with trying to get the starting job at the Olympics. I'm still waiting for him to pull a Vesa: LINK

3. The Vancouver Canucks are my brother's favorite team. Whenever he bets on Vancouver they seem to lose. Get your money in on the Habs!

2. Two, for two gay brothers.

1. ...Because my video game said so...

Game 4: Montreal Canadiens @ Vancouver Canucks

2009-10-07T17:17:00.002-04:00

We beat the Leafs and the next thing you know I'm drunk for a week...

I love blogging, I really do, but this whole university thing is really taking a toll on my brain and nervous system. FUCK! The Leafs game was great because I was drunk! The Sabres game was great because I just had an awesome weekend and was hungover. The Calgary game last night was awful, and not because we lost (that was our best game yet I thought). Last night during the Flames game I had an epiphany of how much this hockey season is going to suck for me. You all read my post last April where I thanked the people on my floor for being "Habs Fans" all year for me and watching the games. It was fucking sicks times, really toated my goat. This year I think I live on the floor of gayness. There's guys on my floor who are engaged and writing books! My suite mate smells like vinegar or something (better than diapers I suppose). There are two Habs fans but they're beyond weird and girls have said they're creeped out by them.

Basically my day consists of getting up, showering, reading, class, working, reading, tv, bed....great life. This post was supposed to be my pre-game post for the Canucks game tonight as you can tell from the title. I'm just to damn pissed off! Hence...the Angry Habs Fan in me is coming out...

Game 1: Montreal Canadiens @ Toronto Maple Leafs

2009-10-01T17:41:00.003-04:00

It's A Damn Shame About That Jersey!

It's Hockey Night In Canada....sorta.

Last time we played the Leafs we kicked their mother fuckin' ass 6-2! Tonight we go for 6-0 boys!

In addition to the ass whooping, little fucktard Grabovski injured Markov's knee with a dirty hit in that last game. Hopefully someone gives that little dirt ball a taste of his own medicine tonight! Keep your head up you fucking plug...

BGL is in the line-up tonight which means the possibility of some ass kicking!

The moneyline for the game right now is even. 1.91-1 for the Habbys. 1.91-1 for the fags in Blue and White.

The Over/Under is set at 6.0 tonight with the Over at 1.87-1 and the Under at 1.95-1.

Price and Toskala are the goalies tonight so I think it would be a pretty safe bet to the take Over.

Other bets I'm thinking about tonight are as follows:

Capitals (2.10-1)
Avs (2.65-1) *Joe Sakic Night*

Happy Birthday To Me!

2009-09-30T17:33:00.002-04:00

Today the AngryHabsFan has entered adulthood turning 20. As a result, you can now expect more mature posts, video's, pictures, and updates.

This essentially means more foul language, more pornography, more sexy sexy ladies, and lastly HOCKEY IS BACK ZZZOMMMMGGGG!!!!!

I'm 20 mother fuckers! What am I going to do tonight? Well I had planned for a nice evening in watching my two favorite shows: Wheel Of Fortune & Jeopardy (20 is the new 65 for me), but my "friends" are taking me out for drinks. I used the quotations marks around friends because the amount of drinks they buy me tonight will determine the strength of the friendship. It's basic mathematics. X + Y(A)= Friends. Where X = Myself. Y= The potential friend. And finally A= the number of drinks purchased.

Oh yeah, and not to forget, we play the mother fuckin' Leafs tomorrow night! I've got CBC on analog TV already to go. I also stocked up on the essential supplies for viewing hockey (in this case, Ketchup chips and Coors Light).

Your Youtube video of the day features BGL and some sexy sexy ladies as promised:

Sick Game

2009-09-17T15:46:00.004-04:00

So I am incredibly sick today, but hey, the show must go on and I have a nice lady looking after me.

Now I know what you're thinking..."Where the fuck have you been the last two weeks"? Well, to be honest, I guess I got a little lazy.

Tonight we can dig those jersey's out because we are taking on the most exciting team on the plant, The Florida Panthers. (it could be worse)

The Panthers are coming off a couple of wins against Kovy and Sens, so in a sense tonight will be Florida's first game against a NHL club this year.

If I wasn't deathly ill at the moment I would have starting drinking 5 hours ago to celebrate the occasion. So I've done the next best thing and starting drinking apple juice 5 hours ago.....hey it sorta looks like beer right? Ladies?

If you're not into the whole pre-season thing then there is plenty of other programming available tongith. I hear the 1000000th season of survivor starts tonight. (really, how can people watch that shit still? I gave it up in grade 11). Oh ya, hot chicks in bikini's for an hour....

Down to the business though: The Habs are laying -120(1.83) while Florida is at +210(3.10). For the game to make it to Overtime is at +310 (4.10).

I'm holding out until 7:29 to bet because I figure there will be a few idiots who will get off work soon and who will take Florida at the +210. (Retarded Bruins Fans).

This is what we've waited for all summer Gents....sorta. Let's get the puck dropped already!

Your Youtube Video of the day is both disturbing yet strangely stimulating.

UH-OH!

2009-09-08T08:48:00.003-04:00

What I had anticipated to be a busy news days in the world of hockey has let me down so far. I guess starting a hockey blog at the beginning of September isn't the best idea I've ever had. Sooooooo......

I could blabber about Jimmy Balsillie, but who gives a fuck anymore, really dude, you're never going to own a team, let it go.

I could blabber about rookie camp opening yesterday....but does anyone give a fuck?

I could blabber on about how excited I am for pre-season.....but I'm not.

I could post pictures of ridiculously amazing looking hot chicks that has nothing to do with hockey and make everyone happy. As you can see, I took the high road on this one:

Also here is your Youtube video of the day via Habsfan324. Another Habs rap (isn't one enough?)

One Week

2009-09-01T16:55:00.004-04:00

One week from today I will make my glorious return to Montreal Canadiens blogging.

Here is a list of things you should do tonight to get pumped up for my return next week:

Watch the Canadian movie "One Week"
Listen to the song "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies.
After listening to the song, check out some bare naked ladies on the interwebs.
Why would you move onto the next bullet when you have bare naked ladies to oggle?
Reminisce on how your playoff beard for the Habs only lasted One Week in 09.
Debate whether or not they're 6 days or 7 days in one week with a stoned friend.
Use your excellent film intellect to discuss Buster Keaton's 1920 film, "One Week"

Or you could just watch this video:

Return Of Angry

2009-08-19T16:48:00.002-04:00

Holy sweat stains batman! Another week of summer has flown by (and it was motherfuckin' hot out there)!!!

The Angry Habs Fan has now set a date for his return for the 2009/2010 season! You can expect updates daily (Monday- Friday) starting on the day after labour day, which is September 8th.

Wear white people.

Dog Dayz'd

2009-08-11T22:46:00.003-04:00

HOLY SHIT!

It's almost been a month since the NHL schedule was thrown out for our eyes to see. That was also the last day that I made a post on here! (I've basically been hiding in a closet waiting for the season to start....fuckin' Blue Jays).

I didn't hop up in here today to make fun of 20 cent Kane, or gloat about our amazing signing of Stewart. All that shit will come during the season. It's summer time, give me a break here. I'm basically losing money writing for this thing.

What I did hop on here for was to say to all you hardcore fans of this unsuccessful, and uninformative site, I 'm happy to announce that the moment training camp opens for the Habs I'll be back posting sloppy updates Monday-Friday throughout the 09/10 NHL season. (If I can get my hungover ass out of bed each morning)

All the grammatical errors that you loved from late last season will be back.... and more!

That "more" means gambling picks. How cool is that!!! Now YOU can make MONEY by reading everyday. (It's basically just a ploy on my behalf to get chronic gamblers like myself reading this thing).

So whether you're a hardcore Habs fan looking for a place to vent some anger, or need to make some extra cabbage in these hard times, the Angry Habs Fan will have you covered coming in the fall.

Until then enjoy your summer, and tip like a gentleman......with numerous punches to the face of senior citizens.

OMG!?! Did You Hear??? The Schedule Is Out! The Schedule Is Out!

2009-07-17T00:59:00.002-04:00

Look, I know I haven't exactly been the quickest habs blog out there to update you on all the latest shit, but I do have a life outside of blogging, fuck off. For me to make even one post a week is a miracle in the summer. Come fall, this blog however will be the most vulgar site on the internet once again.

Bear with me people, long days of golfing, tennis, baseball, and drinking can really take a toll on ones self. Especially with all the Major League Baseball I've been watching lately, my brain is slowly shutting down. You know life sucks when the highlight of the night on TSN is of a baseball clip. Grrrooooosssssss.

The point why I decided to log on here tonight at 1 AM was to provide a link to the Habs 09/10 schedule.

Click Here for 2009/2010 Montreal Canadiens Schedule

If you're looking for me to break down the schedule you're retarded! It's 1 AM, I'm going to sleep.

If you go to another site to look for some good schedule analysis you're also a retard! It's a goddamn schedule, WHO CARES!!! Lets hope that when I wake up tomorrow morning it's October 1st....with a beautiful babe beside me.

So Long And Good Luck, Saku

2009-07-09T20:32:00.004-04:00

No post long enough can sum up Koivu's contribution not only to our beloved hockey club, but to the city of Montreal as well.

Saku's been a class act in Montreal since he arrived. He's had to put up with stupid criticism for his lack of French in the media. And who can forget his memorable comeback after his battle with cancer? Saku has battled injuries and given his heart and soul to his hockey team each and every season.

Though he has never won a Stanley Cup with any of these teams in Montreal, here's hoping that he gets one in Anaheim before he finally calls it quits.

The Saku Koivu era in Montreal is now complete. Though it never brought with it a Stanley Cup, I think we all owe this man our thanks.

Thanks for the memories Captain K!

Senator Kovalev

2009-07-07T15:02:00.003-04:00

I think the picture does all the talking here. Kovalev is coming to my "part time" city in Ottawa for a couple of years. Since ScotiaBank Place is the only NHL arena I've ever been in (somebody get me into the Bell Centre this year!!!), I think it's safe to say that I'll be seeing more of Kovy's play this season. (hopefully against Montreal).

Kovy Or Koviu? It's Up To You

2009-07-06T01:27:00.003-04:00

It seems all the hoopla in town this weekend has been over who is coming back. Kovy or Koviu?

Honestly, I couldn't give a fuck either way which one of these guys come back. I've never been a big fan of Kovy and never will be.

As for Koviu, I have nothing bad to say about this guy. He's been a class act in Montreal, and he deserves to escape this cup less city to go win one somewhere else (Minnesota).

Hey, if I was Bob Gainey I'd be less concerned about bringing these guys back. I'd dump em' both and try to pick a guy who's a proven goals scorer, like, oh, say, Heatley? But what do I know?

The point of this update is this:

If you're a Alex Kovalev fan, click here

If you're a Saku Koviu fan, click here

The Lord Of The Rings: The Chance At No Ring.

2009-07-02T00:22:00.002-04:00

The newest members of the Habs. Pictured: (Left) Mike Cammalleri (Right) Brain Gionta

Leader of the Hobbits, Bob Gainey has added several new players to his roster over the past twenty four hours. Here is my attempt at shitty analysis:

The biggest, tallest, and dumbess' appears to be veteran defenseman Hal Gill. It took a moment for me tonight to realize how the Maple Leafs have really fucked us over here again in Montreal. It started with that dirt ball Grabovski having his little coming out party with almost 50 pts for the Leafs. Now fellow Habs fans are left digesting the fact that the Leafs have taken Mike Komisarek from us, and we have ended up with their former garbage player in Gill. NOBODY wants to have that dumbass on their team (though it did win the Pens the cup). I can't wait to see "Shallow Hal" blocking Carey's view all season long! You might better have a ninety year old man in a wheelchair sit out their in front of the net, rather than fucking Gill. (he'd probably be more mobile too).

Scott Gomez. Hmm lets just see here. He's 5 foot eleven, he's a center, and he averages a little over the 50 point mark each year, AND he's over paid (7.3 million a year) OH, so it sounds like Scott Gomez is here to relapse Koviu then eh Bob? God I'm going to miss saying "Christopher Higgins" in a classy British accent :(

If you're still fucking reading this you can probably guess that I'm less than pleased with Bob's actions over the last few days. Maybe the Molson bro's buying the Habs wasn't such a good idea. I could swear Bob is doing more drinking than thinking with these out-of-no-where deals coming out of his fucking ass!

Jaroslav Spaceck. Almost 4 million per season. 45 pts for Buffalo last year. I'm happy with the acquisition, I'm not happy with the contract. Bob is turning out to be the type of GM that walks into the local kwik-e-mart and pays an extra couple million for that bottle of coke that cost $2. I don't understand these fucking huge contracts!!!! BOB WE ARE UNDER A FUCKING CAP!!! REMEMBER THAT WHOLE LOCKOUT THING?

Mike Cammalleri. 6 million per year. Just look at how great our last two players from Calgary have been and you'll get the inside scoop on how I expect Cammalleri's season will go. But hey, at least he'll still put up as many points as Kovy would in a season for us.

Brian Gionta. 5 Million per year. If he can pull a decent season out of his ass then I'll be happy with acquiring him. On a side note I'm 6 inches taller than him LOLZZZZ!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE NHL!!!

Bob, I'm sorry but I think consensus says that you have lead our team in the wrong direction today. You know, like the bum hole instead of the vagina.

Live NHL Entry Draft Results

2009-06-26T19:56:00.039-04:00

1. New York Islanders - John Tavares

2. Tampa Bay Lightning - Victor Hedman

3. Colorado Avalanche - Matt Duchene

4. Atlanta Thrashers - Evander Kane

5. LA Kings - Brayden Schenn

6. Phoenix Coyotes - Oliver Ekman-Larsson

7. Toronto Maple Leafs - Nazem Kadri

8. Dallas Stars - Scott Glennie

9. Ottawa Senators - Jared Cowen

10. Edmonton Oilers - Magnus Paajarvi-Svensson

11. Nashville Predators - Ryan Ellis

12. New York Islanders (from the Wild) - Calvin DeHaan

13. Buffalo Sabres - Zack Kassian

14. Florida Panthers - Dmitry Kulikov

15. Anaheim Ducks - Peter Holland

16. Minnesota Wild (from the the Blue Jacket's via the Islanders) - Nick Leddy

17. St. Louis Blues - David Rundblad

18. Montreal Canadiens - Louis Leblanc

19. New York Rangers - Chris Kreider

20. New Jersey Devils (from the Flames) - Jacob Josefson

21. Columbus Blue Jackets (from the Flyers via the Ducks) - John Moore

22. Vancouver Canucks - Jordan Schroeder

23. Calgary Flames - Tim Erixon

24. Washington Capitals - Marcus Johansson

25. Boston Bruins - Jordan Caron

26. Anaheim Ducks (from the Sharks via the Lightning, Senators, Islanders, & Blue Jackets) - Kyle Palmieri

27. Carolina Hurricanes - Philippe Paradis

28. Chicago Blackhawks - Dylan Olsen

29. Tampa Bay Lightning (from the Red Wings) - Carter Ashton

30. Pittsburgh Penguins - Simon Despres

NHL Awards Week: Day 2

2009-06-16T22:31:00.003-04:00

I hope all of you enjoyed yesterday's summer filler post about the upcoming NHL awards on Thursday night (I'm sorry).

The news out of Montreal lately has been pretty fucking quiet. What the fuck can I write about here when the most excited thing I've heard all week is that Vinny will be in town doing autograph's.

Let's talk about some more fucking awards!

The King Clancy Memorial Trophy is awarded to the player who best exemplifies leadership qualities on and off the ice and has made a noteworthy humanitarian contribution in his community. Vinny was the last one to win this award a couple of seasons ago. Who cares about charity work?

The NHL plus/Minus Award is awarded to the player with the highest plus/minus statistic in the regular season. This years winner is the Bruins own David Krejci. Way to earn that new contract David.

The William M. Jennings Trophy is awarded to the goalkeeper(s) having played a minimum of 25 games for the team with the fewest goals scored against it in the regular season. This years winners are Timmy Thomas and Manny Fernandez. Does anyone actually give a shit about this award? And why 25 games? Why not 26?

The Frank J. Selke Trophy is awarded to the forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game. You're all probably saying to yourself "Finally a fucking award people care about". Well you know what? Summer is a long time and I've got a week to fill so I'm going to milk everything I can out of this awards show. ....And the nominees are: Pavel Datsyuk, Ryan Kesler, and Mike Richard's. The Angry Habs Fan Picks: Pavel Datsyuk

The final award for today is The Jack Adams Award which is awarded to the NHL coach adjudged to have contributed the most to his team's success. Wasn't Carbo nominated for this last year? That's right HE WAS. Will Martin ever come close to this award? NO.FUCKING.WAY. Maybe the NHL need's an award for The Coach Who Gets Booed Most By Fans? He'll be a runway winner. This year's nominee's are: Claude Julien (FUCK FUCK FUCK), Todd McLellan, and Andy Murray. The Angry Habs Fan Picks: Andy Murray.....but we all know Todd McLellan will win.

NHL Awards Week: Day 1

2009-06-16T00:21:00.002-04:00

The 2008/2009 NHL awards are taking place in the city of lights on Thursday night, but does anyone give a fuck?

For me, there are two parts of the NHL offseason that I fucking hate. The first is the draft and the second is the awards show.

The NHL Draft is sort of like following the whole Hamilton fiasco of late. You've got to follow it because you're a hockey fan, but we already know the outcome (oh FYI, The Coyotes aren't moving to Hamilton).

Anyone who actually thought that Mr. Balsillie would get a team in Hamilton had to be off their fucking rocker! Last time I checked, moving the Coyotes to Hamilton would be good for NHL revenue and attendance and Gary doesn't want anything to do with that, remember. Hockey in a fucking desert???, Jesus Christ sounds just fantastic to me! Oh wait, hockey is played on ice isn't it? FAIL.

Enough about the Draft, we'll have plenty of time to talk about that two day bore fest next week. This week we are going to focus on something else, The NHL Award's Show (aka two HOUR bore fest).

Each day this week I'll be examining five of the awards that will be handed out at this year's event. Today I'm going to focus on the NHL Life Time Achievement Award, Mark Messier Leadership Award, Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award, Maurice Rocket Richard Trophy, and finally The NHL Foundation Player Award.

The NHL Life Time Achievement Award is awarded to a National Hockey League veteran in recognition of their contributions to the league. I know Jim Balsillie is not a NHL veteran, but come this guy deserves some kind of fucking award I think, even in failure.

The Mark Messier Leadership Award is awarded to the player who exemplifies great leadership qualities to his team, on and off the ice, during the regular season. Sundin was the last person to win this award, kinda ironic? MY PICK: Sean Avery! Really brought those Stars together in Dallas...oh wait.

Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award is awarded to the goaltender who has played a minimum of 25 games in the regular season and has the highest save percentage. Timmy Thomas won this award last year. How many games did Marty end up playing this year? Can we give the award to Carey for "showing up" in 25 games this year?

The Maurice Rocket Richard Trophy (finally an award we actually care about) is awarded to the top goal scorer in the regular season. No surprise here, Ovechkin wins.

The NHL Foundation Player Award is awarded to the player who applies the core values of hockey to enrich the lives of people in his community. MY PICK: SEAN AVERY!

I'll continue this offseason filler tomorrow with some more beauty awards that will be handed out Thursday night. I wish I was as creative as the boys at DownGoesBrown. I expect them to roll out a list of fake award's that will be fucking hilarious. If they don't, somebody will be getting an unpleasant email from my mother.

2009 Stanley Cup Champions: The Pittsburgh Penguins!

2009-06-13T00:57:00.005-04:00

I don't what to say here boys, I'm speechless. My advice to all you Habs fans out there is pretend that you are a Penguins fan for the weekend, party it up, have some beers, and let's get back to business on Monday morning.

We've got some award's to win on Thursday night. HA

My Game Preview

2009-06-11T19:27:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow night one of two things WILL happen in Detroit rock city.

1. A classic game seven will be played that will be included in Blu-Ray collection's for years to come.

2. The Red Wings will destroy the Penguins 5-0.

I may be incorrect on this one fact, but don't we all want the Pens to win this game tomorrow night? I'm know fan of the dirty kid they call Sidney, but come on who wants to see the fucking Red Wings win again and again and again until my head fucking explodes. If you're reading this and ARE a Wings fan how about you and all your other Wings fans go fuck yourselves? Go turn on the Yankees game, or the Lakers game, or the Pats game, or the Man U game. You can read between the fuckin' lines there I think!

Danny B, I hope you have a fucking good speech up your sleeve for the dressing room pre-game tomorrow. Maybe get some of Obama's people workin' on that shit for ya, they seem to be pretty good at firing people up. Oh, and don't forget to mention something about the Wings kicking your ass last year and maybe not letting them embarrass you again?

The first ten minutes are going to say a lot about this hockey game. The Pens need to come out and smash fucking Zetterberg and Pavel D through the fucking boards early to set a tone that says "Ya, don't fuck with us tonight".

Big Marc Andre needs to stay in his net and work on cutting down those goddamn angels he's been giving up in the Joe.

Crosby and Malkin having a good game will also be key to the Penguins doing well (know shit).

My money is being thrown down on the Pens tomorrow night, I'm a believer, are you?

Must Know Shit For June 4th 2009

2009-06-04T16:09:00.002-04:00

There's a fuckin' game tonight ya'll! Can the Pens win? My money is on'em. Fuck the Red Wings!!!
Av's start rebuilding there staff by hiring Joe Sacco as the new head coach. Who?
TSN seems to be confident that Datsyuk WILL play tonight, while sportsnet seems to be sure that he WON'T play tonight. I don't know who to fucking trust! But I'll tell you this much, a Red Wings team with Datsyuk and the Pens are fucking toast.

Check back here tonight around 7:30PM again for some quality live blogging.....and join in and have your voice heard!!!

Must Know Shit

2009-06-03T14:01:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Talbot the Pens have made it a series with a 4-2 win over the Red Wings last night at the Igloo.
Colorado has fired pretty much every person they have on staff
The GM's give a big FUCK YOU to the NHL over a proposed head shot rule
CONN SMYTHE TROPHY candidates thus far include Osgood, Zetterberg, Franzen, Crosby And Malkin.

2009-06-03T01:09:00.003-04:00

Ahhh, whenever you're having a bad day always remember there are worse off people in the world. Leafs Fans

Live Blog ~ Game 3: Red Wings @ Pens

2009-06-02T19:36:00.033-04:00

10:05PM: Third period is on and I'm feeling better! Lets go Pens

10:04PM: Bettman IS NOT a good business man though guys. Why leave a struggling team in phoenix that is bleeding money each year when you could have a successful team in Hamilton. It wouldn't matter if the team was skilled or not either, people would still go to the games, take the Leafs for example.

10:00PM Bettman is a great business man but that's as far as I'll go. "Which one is the quarterback?" ~Gary Bettman tonight during the first period.

9:57PM: Does Ron McLean's eyes look like he's trying to kill him with brain lasers or what?

9:53PM: Frost /Nixon the sequel. MacLean / Bettman on CBC.

9:45PM: 2-2 tie after the 2nd. Gary time!

9:39PM: Interview with Gary Bettman coming up on intermission. NO Satellite Hotstove, I repeat NO Satellite Hotstove!

9:39:PM Red Wings powerplay coming up. sigh, I think we all know what that means...

9:25PM: Sorry it's been forever since I last posted. Not feeling all that great. My future posts will come sparingly.

9:13PM: 2nd Period is underway. OMG can something amazing happen please.

9:09PM: Stratford Ontario gets hockey day in Canada in 2010

9:07:PM Fucking hell. Is it just me or is watching this game a big downer? I'm feel really tired and have a headache all of a sudden. Too much hockey stress in the last couple of days.

9:04PM: Don talking with all the top prospects at this years draft.

8:53PM: Shots 12-7 Red Wings. Score 2-2 after one.

8:52PM: Pens need to learn how to win a face off in those situations.

8:50PM: Pens Powerplay again.

8:47PM: LETANG! 2-2 I needed that for my pool. It's about time he did something.

8:46PM: Pens powerplay here. Pray.

8:39PM: Jesus, I can't stop pissing! I'm missing the fucking game in the bathroom.

8:36PM: Franzen makes it 2-1 for the Wings. Four straight anyone?

8:34PM: Red Wings power play. Should be a goal here.

8:26PM: Zetterberg ties it up at one. Somebody tell me why Fleury was down?

8:24PM: Talbot makes it 1-0 for the Pens. Now they need another one to keep this momentum going...

8:18PM: Guerin almost makes it 1-0 for the pens!

8:17PM: Malkin out there with Sid!

8:15PM: Game On!

8:13PM: Some quality anthem singing there. Mario to do the ceremonial face off.

8:06PM: 3 Things to Know about Pittsburgh:
1. The Pens are 6-2 at home in the post-season.
2. Crosby hasn't registered a single point against Detroit.
3. Staal is looking to break out against Detroit tonight after posting 4 points in 2 games against Detroit during the regular season.

8:05PM: 3 Things to Know about Detroit:
1. Draper declares himself ready to play and lead the league with the top faceoff percentage during the regular season at 60.3%.
2. Samuelsson is likely out tonight due to a mild illness.
3. Lidstrom averages 7 minutes in specialty teams play per game in the post-season.

8:03PM: Boo's for Gary at the game. Do you know your enemy? HA

8:02PM: CBC has gone emo with their intro playing the song "Know Your Enemy" or according to Ron Maclean "Do You Know The Enemy". HA

7:57PM: Alright lets get some more boring hockey underway! Hopefully the advantage of last change will help Pittsburgh tonight.

7:36PM: The live blog is back for game 3. No pre-game show on CBC tonight. There so bias towards Pittsburgh they have nothing to talk about now that they're down 2-0.

June Wallpaper

2009-06-02T18:35:00.003-04:00

Click the picture above for your full sized Canadiens background for June.

A Classic? I Don't Think So

2009-06-02T17:47:00.003-04:00

We are now two games into the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals, and I am more than frustrated with what I have had to sit through. Fucking boring shit if you ask this non Pens / Red Wings fan.

I've watched the Red Wings play the trap for 120 mintues (might have to get used to watching that shit fellow habs fans), the Pens try to dump the puck, carry the puck, and chip the puck in with no success, and finally I'm frustrated because the Red Wings are going to win the Stanley Cup, again. There should be a rule instated that you can't win the cup two years in a row (unless you are the Montreal Canadiens of course).

There have been no defining moments, big hits, or crucial plays. I know were only two games into this series, but can't you all sense were going to get "more of the same" in the next few games? I do, and it's pissing me off! Other than Malkin's pussy attempt at a fight with Zetterberg or Crosby's slash after the game, there has been nothing to get me excited about this series. GARY, forget about Phoenix for just one fucking second and get me pumped up for this game. Ad's, contests, I don't fucking know. Hookers?

Game 3 is tonight in Pittsburgh and if nothing special happens in this game I might just fall asleep. If you are looking for a prediction I'd put your money on Pittsburgh tonight. It's basically do or die for the Pens.

Check back here later for some live blogging of game 3.

The New Angry Habs Fan Logo

2009-06-02T15:40:00.004-04:00

Are my Photoshop skills not amazing? Fun fact: I did this in Pages, not Photoshop. I hate it when people say they photoshopped shit and they really just used a shitty program like photoshop. Don't you?

Live Blog Tonight

2009-06-02T11:33:00.004-04:00

This dog celebrated the edition of Martin to the team a little too hard last night.

It's Tuesday you hungover fools (I hope you guys didn't party it up too hard last night after hearing the news that Jacques Martin is the new head coach) and you know what that means, HOCKEY!

The Red Wings hold a 2-0 lead in the series going into Pittsburgh tonight. At this point I'm very worried that I'll be watching Blue Jays baseball full time and pretending I enjoy it by the weekend.

I'll be live blogging the game again tonight from the shitty booth they give me in Mellon Arena(aka my living room). Hope you guys enjoy this whole live blog experience while it lasts.

Check back around 7:30PM for some pre-game blogging.

Until then enjoy these babes working out:

A Couple Of Vintage Jerseys The Habs Will Wear This Season

2009-06-01T21:59:00.003-04:00

VERDICT: Still pretty fucking ugly. They'll never compete with the barber shop jerseys though.

If I happen to come across a shit load of spare cash which jersey do I buy? Answer the poll question on the right of the page.

The Secret Transcript

2009-06-01T15:04:00.002-04:00

This fake transcript of Bob Gainey interviewing Martin for the coaching job is hilarious!

It originally appeared on "Down Goes Brown"

Bob Gainey: Jacques, I want to thank you for coming in for this interview. Do you have any other commitments on your time today? As you can imagine, the interview process can be quite daunting for a job as prestigious as this one.

Jacques Martin: No problem, I'm willing to spend all day here if I need to.

Gainey: OK, great. First question: do you speak French?

Martin: Yes I do.

Gainey: Great. You're hired!

Martin: ... Um, sorry?

Gainey: You're hired. You nailed pretty much every qualification we have.

Martin: Oh.

Gainey: Is there a problem?

Martin: I just thought we were going to spend some time talking about my experience.

Gainey: Oh. Well, sure, I suppose we could do that. If you really want to.

Martin: Well, my coaching career began with the Blues. Then I spent nine years as the coach of the Ottawa Senators. And for the past five years I've been with the Florida Panthers.

Gainey: I don't remember you coaching the Blues.

Martin: Nobody does.

Gainey: OK, so let's skip that part and move on to Ottawa.

Martin: Well, with the Senators I was best known for accomplishing something that virtually no other active NHL coach has managed to do.

Gainey: Which was?

Martin: Losing to the Toronto Maple Leafs in the playoffs.

Gainey (nodding): Yeah, I think we all saw that one coming.

Martin: We lost to them four times, but the toughest one was in 2004. We made it to game seven, but then Patrick Lalime had an epic meltdown. We really believed that he was the guy who could backstop our team to a championship, but then he just imploded.

Gainey: So you're saying you have experience dealing with over-hyped goalies who choke in the playoffs?

Martin: Extensive experience.

Gainey: (Makes a big checkmark on his notepad)

Martin: Yeah.

Gainey: And what about your playoff experience since 2004?

Martin: You heard the part where I said I worked for the Florida Panthers, right?

Gainey: Sorry. My mistake. What about in St. Louis, what was your playoff record like there?

Martin: No idea. Like I said, nobody remembers me coaching the Blues.

Gainey: Fair enough. As you know, the media here in Montreal can be difficult. What sort of experience do you have dealing with the media?

Martin: Well, in Ottawa they were very difficult to deal with. They were constantly asking me for autographs, bringing me coffee, or just offering me random hugs and back rubs. But they could be nasty, too. Sometimes, when we choked in the playoffs against a team we should have easily beaten, somebody would actually write a negative article. They'd always apologize the next day and print a retraction, but still, it was pretty rough.

Gainey: And what about dealing with all the hockey media in Florida, was that difficult?

Martin: (Laughs)

Gainey: (Laughs)

Martin: So anyways, I'm sure I could handle the Montreal media. I have a well-tested strategy for working with the press.

Gainey: Which is?

Martin: I'm so incredibly boring that they all quit after fifteen minutes of listening to me.

Gainey: Well Jacques, I think you're our man. Do you have any questions for me?

Martin: Just one: Any update on the ownership situation?

Gainey: We're expecting an announcement soon, but I can't really say more than that.

Martin: Understood.

Gainey: You like Celine Dion music, right?

Martin: Um...

Jacques Martin Is The Next Coach Of The Montreal Canadiens

2009-06-01T11:20:00.006-04:00

Well reports are flooding in now at all the major networks and radio stations that Jacques Martin will be named the new head coach of the Habs this afternoon at 2:00PM.

I'm not exactly sure I'm okay with this happening, but the season is so far away at this point who gives a fuck right now. I'll give the former Sens coach the benefit of the doubt for now. I'm to tired to come up with any reasons as to why he should not be our new coach. I'll leave that shit up to the Four Habs Fans.

So now I guess we all have something to do this afternoon at 2:00PM, listen to a press conference, YAY!

UPDATE: As this story breaks the major sports networks will eventually catch up to us bloggers. Follow all updates at this link:

Penis

UPDATE: "He did really well in Ottawa" ~Georges Laraque Hmm, I beg to differ on that one GL.
UPDATE: I dug up a few pics on Google Images during the news conference. God I need something better to do with my time:

Martin Hot For Habs

2009-06-01T10:41:00.003-04:00

Good morning my beautiful friends. It's fucking June already!

At the rate the Detroit "Bore" Wings are going this series is going to be over by Thursday night and we will all be without hockey for the next 4 months. Please, everyone, pray for a Pittsburgh win tomorrow night!!!

In Habs news this morning, reports are surfacing from sportsnet.ca that Florida Panthers general manager Jacques Martin is speaking with his team about escaping his contract, apparently more than a little interested in the head coaching job with the Canadiens.

I don't think it matters at this point who the Canadiens hire as their next coach, I will never be happy with the outcome and I don't expect anything much out of Bob anymore.

Finally, if you haven't noticed I changed the name of the blog for two reasons:

1. thedrivefor25isalive is wayyyyyy to long for a URL

2. Angry Habs Fan matches all my other internet identities.

Have a great day folks, enjoy Conan tonight on the tonight show.

Live Blog ~ Game 2: Pens @ Red Wings

2009-05-31T18:13:00.049-04:00

10:46PM- The game is over. Red Wings win again, same score, same result, same as last year. OHMYGODSHOOTME. I'm outta here!

10:45PM- Two man ad. for the Red Wings? Really refs? REALLY?

10:42PM- Jesus Malkin, watch the sucker punch on Zetterberg eh. We don't need a long and drawn out law suit here, oh wait, we already have one.

1041PM- FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

10:40PM: "Born and Raised in south Detroit" ....yeah we get it. Too bad all your players are from Europe.

10:39PM- Someone throw an octopus on the ice or something. I'm falling asleep here.

10:35PM- We're in desperation time, population Penguins.

10:31PM- dkljfdskljdfsakldfdfkljdfsakljdfs go pens?

10:21PM- For Game 3 the NHL has decided to just go ahead with it and give the ref's Red Wings jersey's.

10:16PM- Wow, well I think it's safe to say that this game is over. 3-1 Red Wings now. They'll take a 2-0 lead into Pittsburgh just like last year. Can the pens battle back in this series? The answer is no, this could be a sweep.

10:14PM- Damn! Clearly not a goal though.

10:12PM- No matter how bad the commentating is on CBC I can't bring myself to switch to NBC. I'm too Canadian. Now where'd I put that Miller...

10:10PM- 3rd period underway.

9:51PM- I don't care what the fuck the experts have to say during the intermission. I don't care what the fuck YOU have to say during the intermission. This is anybody's game after 2 period's. 2-1 Red Wings with 20 mins left to play.

9:44PM- It's crucial that the Pens tie this up and get some confidence moving into the third period.

9:41PM- Crosby was just dancing around the Red Wings defense

9:34PM- Two things you need to know if you're just tuning into the game. Hossa has been invisible out there tonight and officiating is really sketchy

9:32PM- Filppula was the one who buried it for the Wings btw.

9:30PM- Pens killed it. Red Wings score anyway. Hal Gill crying to the ref. I'm having deja vu from last night's game. 2-1 Red Wings

9:27PM- An entire tv spot for Transformers 2 and not one shot of Megan Fox. Bad Marketing.

9:26PM- PENALTY: PITTSBURGH - Malkin for interference. This won't end well.

9:21PM- Yep, I was right. Tie game 1-1 Ericsson with a blast!

9:19PM- Exciting action down in the Pens zone! They finally clear the puck but they can't change! I feel a Red Wings goal coming

9:15PM- Any other Habs fans out there wish they were watching the MTV movie awards right now? I didn't think so...

9:12PM- 2nd period underway.

9:10PM- Just had a beauty of a pizza sub while watching coach's corner. Lets get this thing going again!

8:54PM- The Pittsburgh Penguins just had TEN straight shots on net!

8:53PM- Pens have their feet on the gas pedal now!

8:52PM- 16:50 Evgeni Malkin (13), power play, Snap Shot. Assist: Letang, Guerin

8:50PM- GOAL PITTSBURGH, MALKIN Bad break for Stuart there.

8:49PM- PENALTY: DETROIT - Kronwall

8:47PM- If I'm banging Megan Fox while drinking a Bud Light lime then it's not as gay right?

8:45PM- Fuck, there really pushing that Bud Light Lime. Three commercial's in one tv timeout. I kinda wanna try it, yet keep my masculinity.

8:41PM- Pens having trouble breaking out. The Red Wings are going to make me puke...

840:PM- Pens need to get a victory tonight before Malkin has to deal with Datsyuk.

8:32 PM- Love that new Alexander Keith's Commercial. "Hold True". Youtube em'.

8:30PM- Shots 6-1 Red Wings....and here we go again.

8:28 PM- Malkin looks either drunk or lost on the bench.

8:26PM- Osgood is way too relaxed and confident. I'd love to see you in net in Atlanta buddy.

8:24 PM- Justin Applicator....what a name.

8:23 PM- Malkin with some dirty stick work lol atta boy!

8:20 PM- Game on!

8:15 PM- Don Cherry thinks he is the most interesting man in the world. "I don't often make predictions, but when I do, I pick Detroit, Stay thirsty my friends". Oh my...

6:45 PM- Wow, just found out that Nadal lost today to some know name guy from Sweden. See Pittsburgh, there is always hope for you.

6:31 PM- Really dreading this practice. I better be back for puck drop or I'm gonna lose it.

6:14 PM- The live blog may be delayed a bit until after puck drop. I have fucking baseball practice at 7:00 PM. Uhhhh, who practices for beer league? And on a hockey night!

Live Blog Tonight

2009-05-31T11:34:00.003-04:00

....because I have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.

Well last night was disappointing, but it could have gone either way. The bounces were going the Red Wings way and hopefully Pittsburgh can adjust tonight.

Last night was the first time since the Habs were in the playoffs that I was drinking and watching hockey, it makes it sooooo much more interesting after a few M.G.D.'s.

Check back to THE DRIVE tonight around 7:30 for some live bias opinion's in favor of the Pens.

Until then, enjoy your Sunday morning beer shits!

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal?

2009-05-30T11:10:00.003-04:00

Ahhh Saturday morning. Hookers are poppin' pills, kids are watching suggestive cartoon's, and Sidney Crosby's "beard" grew 3 sizes over night (just kidding, it's still dirty).

Thought I should pop by here and let all you wonderful folks know that the Red Wings are going to win the Stanley Cup again this year, unfortunately.

I'll be cheering for the cry baby for TWO reason in this series though:

1. I hate the Red Wings, and If this series isn't boring enough what if the Red Wings won it again....ugh.

2. I want to see Marian Hossa lose yet again.

I think a lot of people feel the same way I do about the Red Wings. Even Red Wings fans don't like the Red Wings, but when you have the Lions in town you've gotta cheer for some sort of winner I suppose.

I'm off to "wonderland" tonight, aka intoxication.

Enjoy the game Habs fans, it's almost September *eye roll*

Don Cherry "Rock 'em Sock 'em Techno"

2009-05-28T14:11:00.000-04:00

I dug into the far depth's of Youtube to pull out this beauty!

Lets Go!

Actual Analysis

2009-05-28T11:06:00.002-04:00

Look at that beast!

Scott Cullen weighs in on the Habs off season plans.

Click Here

Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup Final

2009-05-27T22:21:00.002-04:00

VS.

Let the rematch begin.